Mike Bamiloye, the founder of Mount Zion Faith Ministries International, has described women who beat their husbands as “living dead”.
The 61-year-old clergyman took to his Instagram page on Monday to reflect on the rising cases of domestic violence across the country.
The veteran filmmaker also had something to say about men who beat their wives, noting that they deserve a place at the psychiatric hospital.
“A wife that beats her husband is dead and rotten while she is alive,” he said.
“When a man uses a belt, wire, blow, knife, slap, or any domestic violence means on his wife.
“He is worthy to be awarded a duplex at a neuro-psychiatric hospital or he can just go there himself and tell them to admit him there until he is okay.”
Bamiloye has made the headlines on numerous occasions for his comments on societal issues often interpreted from a religious perspective.
In 2020, he had urged single people to exercise patience when searching for partners to avoid making a mistake.
During this year’s Valentine’s Day celebration, the cleric and actor had also stated that any sex act done outside marriage is a conscious blood covenant with the devil.
Bamiloye is married to Gloria and the union is blessed with three children — namely Damilola, Joshua and Darasimi respectively.
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What I deduce from the pastor’s comment, if he was quoted correctly is that : If a man abuses his wife, we should send him to psychiatric hospital.. meaning he is mentally sick, out of control of his mind, not responsible for his actions and therefore should be cared for as invalid in order to rehabilitate him. But if a woman abuses her husband, we should send/put her among “dead and rotten”, while she is alive, meaning her action is willful, not as a result of mental or emotional trauma and she should be held responsible for it. Therefore, she does not deserve help, care or rehabilitation but death.
Double standards in judging marital violence and abuse is why it persists in our country today. Sadly, marital abuse is rampant in the religious community, from the pulpit to the pews. The predominant sermon/attitude from the pulpits, and in counseling sessions is to enforce martial submission by wives, by any means necessary. On the other, husbands are let off easily, to preserve their egos as if ‘male ego’ is a fruit of the spirit, and may continue to starve wives of love, affection and care, yet be venerated. Deep, heart wrenching betrayals and abuses are glossed over, the man’s excuses are validated, while the woman’s reactions are invalidated and she is labeled ‘unforgiving’, even when the offending husband is unrepentant. To add insult to injury, embattled wives who dare to expose or retaliate the abuse they have been enduring are mostly stigmatized/ostracized (or beaten to death and rot like the pastor prescribed), and rebuked to pray and support an unfaithful, negligent and abusive husband in hope that he will be placated and stop abusing her. You will hardly hear that the man was openly rebuked, suspended from ministry or mandated to restitute or go on counseling sessions and only reinstated after satisfactory feedback from victim spouse. Even fellow women, who know nothing of the man, beguiled by the charming impression he portrays, are quick to condemn the wife. Not a few women in churches will share tales of woes they go through in their homes. Many wives have become adept at covering up because our churches/society stigmatizes the woman when a marriage is broken, while the man’s reputation is unscathed. The result is that we have couples celebrating donkey years of dysfunctional marriages/homes, while modeling to the next generation that it is okay to endure abusive relationships, rather than be divorced, for the sake of appearances.
Nothing can be more despicable as this kind of double standards, enabling of abuse and dysfunctional homes that reproduce abuse. We should support the stability of marriages based on mutual accountability and respect by both husband and wife. It is better to separate or divorce where harmony is not possible, than remain in an abusive marriage. Our society is more in danger by the lasting trauma of spouses and children who endure abusive environments, than those who separate early, find better suited partners and share upbringing of their children with respect and dignity.
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