A lot of people set forth to fall in love and then end up falling into the pit, eventually hating love and life entirely. Love is a beautiful thing, first of all, so if there’s anything to be hated, it should be the game of heartbreaking. And the first step to not falling into its trap is to be able to recognise a potential one when you see it, and here’s how.


Everything goes. So you meet this guy and his smooth talking knows no end. He cajoles you and you are sold, as we are the very special specie more vulnerable to such. He keeps up with his effective skills, a little too much in fact. He compliments you every time, no space for mistakes or corrections. You look pretty all the time, you dress well all the time, your make up is intact all the time, you say the right things, and you do the right things. Nothing could go wrong. According to him, everything goes. It’s like he came solely for that validation. That’s your red flag right there. Anyone who loves you as much as he says and wants you to grow will tell you the truth. Including when your red lipstick is a little over board, or your dress is out of place or fashion, or your breath stinks or even your hair messy. The one who tells you all the time that you look amazing, not that you don’t, in a nick isn’t there to stay. He just wants what he can get from you and nothing else and when he’s done he’ll just leave you and follow the wind.

Calls at specific times/hours, if at all. This is spelt out booty call. As direct as it seems, it isn’t a good look. I know that it seems like it’s a good thing that he calls all the time but if it’s just to come over, then it is trouble. If he’s really into you, he should be able to call, maybe not all the time, but as often as he can and it shouldn’t be at his all the time. It means he just needs you to help with his release, be it sexual or domestic. Doesn’t necessarily make you relationship item or material. Of course he can be sweet, and sometimes he takes you home after a day well spent with him but this doesn’t guarantee anything and when he sees the next eye candy, he will easily move on to her.

Doesn’t Reveal Much. These ones can be dangerous. At first they come as introverts. You get mistaken as the shrink that should bring them out of their shell and so you go all in and try to make them feel as comfortable as they can, in order to let you in, and trust you a little. But that isn’t the case, sadly. They just need you for that moment in time. So any door to know about their personal life is shut. This kind of guys hide everything ranging from where they are at the moment, who they are with, phone conversations, family, personal life and even friends. Most go as far as hiding where they work. You ask questions and they either digress or change the subject just to get you distracted and forget eventually. At the end, you’d realise you don’t even know anything the person you claim to be dating, but you, in an attempt to pull your own weight in the relationship, would have told him everything about even your ancestors. I suggest you call it a failed relationship and move on before you hurt yourself more than is already happening because even he would say he isn’t liable for your feelings.


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