Dear Cupid,


I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years. My boyfriend has ignored me frequently throughout our relationship and hurt me. However, he just apologised and said he’ll correct his mistakes. But I’ve met another guy who understands me very well. What should I do if I love them both?

Dear friend,

Let’s establish one thing first… You can’t have them both. Don’t reason along that line. It’s a recipe for disaster and you will lose both of them.


Now, I can’t tell you what to do because a relationship is like a secret code-shared by two people alone. No one truly knows what’s going on except the people in it.

You have to decide if this 6-year-long relationship is worth staying in or if you’re going to start a new journey with someone else. What I can do is ask questions to guide you as you make your decision.

The fact that you’ve been in a relationship for a long time does not mean that it’s right for you or that it is healthy.


Has there been mutual respect in this long-term relationship? Do you feel seen and loved by your partner? Do you trust your partner? You’d already stated that he has ignored you and hurt you frequently. What inspired this sudden change of heart?

Do you trust that he will keep to his word? Do you feel supported in this relationship? Is communication easy? Do your goals for your future align? Why have you stayed for so long in this relationship?

Your answers to these questions will tell you if that relationship is worth saving.

Now, is it really love with this new man or did he just give you attention at the right time? Sometimes the attention can be so flattering that it becomes easily confused with love.


Love is profound and meaningful, enjoying someone’s company is surface level and contingent.

When you love someone, you care about them completely, you respect them, you want to trust them, and you would never want to do anything to hurt them. You love the bad parts about them and you get along on a deep level, usually including values. You have a deep connection.

Is this what you feel and is this what he feels for you? If it isn’t, is he worth leaving a relationship for?

If it is true love you feel for him and vice versa, then you have a tough decision to make.


You may even decide to just be on your own.

I sincerely hope whatever decision you make brings you the most happiness.

With love,



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