Choose happiness this Mother’s Day

BY TOBI YUSUF

Another argument was brewing, Joe could feel it. Although his wife was as cool-headed as they came, she occasionally succumbed to moments of anger, which were often brought on because of his penchant for forgetting important dates and anniversaries. In such moments, Joe would obliviously get home to meet a different version of Mandy, his ever-affable woman.

Knowing his weakness, Joe always tried to keep track of important dates, but despite hours he had spent racking his brain, he couldn’t remember which one he was about to miss.

On her part, Mandy loves her partner deeply and believes that, if despite her busy schedule she can remember special dates and plan surprise celebrations for such days, her husband should make an effort to meet her halfway. Sadly, her experience in this regard has not always been good, leading to unnecessary bitterness and tension in an otherwise loving relationship.

Why am I sharing this story? Firstly, because I know some women are just like Mandy. We wait in vain for our partners to remember our birthdays or celebrate other special moments, forgetting that we do not need to put ourselves through this emotional torture.

The second and more urgent reason why I am writing this is because I know Mother’s Day is around the corner and it presents another wonderful opportunity for us to celebrate ourselves as women, mothers and nurturers. It is a wonderful thing to be and be called a mom and we should never take a day like this for granted whether our partners remember or not. What am I saying in essence?

Prioritise yourself this Mother’s Day, Girl! This year, we are not bearing any grudges nor are we waiting for our man to take us out. How will this play out, you ask? By doing some or all of the below:

1. Plan a date for yourself by yourself: Who says that you cannot cater to yourself on a special day such as this one? So, plan a date with your family or friends; do whatever makes you happy on Mother’s Day this year. Avoid anything that may bring resentment.
2. Remind your loved ones: Nothing is stopping you from reminding your husband and child/children of such an important day. If your husband, partner, or child does not remember to send their good wishes, buy you gifts, or do other acts of service, remind them.
3. Make a demand. Yes, you can actually express your desire to your loved ones. Tell them what exactly they can do to make you and the day special. Do communicate your needs by all means.
4. Make them feel special. It is a known fact that feelings beget feelings just as gifts. So, do what would make your loved ones feel special and there is a very high chance that you’d reap the same energy. And even if you don’t receive anything commendable from them, making the effort on your part should be enough and should make you happy.

My final charge to you dear Sisters, is that you should not be a Mandy. Make this Mother’s Day worthwhile by throwing away negativity, nagging and bitterness and embracing the good things life’s got to offer.

Have yourself a Great Mother’s Day Celebration!

In health and love,

Tobi Yusuf, founder of RIAH Events & Weddings, Relationship Mentor, convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.