One of the toughest challenges of being a mum is not losing your identity as a married woman. Date nights, making out, and having sex become a lot harder to engage in spontaneously. Well, because kids do everything they can to ruin romantic moments.

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Frankly, it’s amazing parents end up with more than one child. The trick is to keep your wits — and clothes — about you and have a good sense of humour.

These hilarious mom confessions will crack your ribs and give you something to relate with, possibly. Enjoy!

These mom confessions come with guaranteed laughter!

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Call It a Tickle Fight

“We thought we got lucky one night when our two kids went to bed early. But 10 minutes later, our five-year-old daughter burst through the door while we were ‘celebrating’, scared about some noise outside her window. My husband ran to the bathroom in embarrassment, and I told her we were having a tickle fight. ‘Why are you having a tickle fight without your clothes on?’ she asked. I replied, ‘Because it tickles more without our clothes!'” —Yetunde O. 31, Lagos

Deal Or No Deal?

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“I’m considering telling my husband that I will perform any sex act of his choice once a week if he will let me hire a help to clean once a week. I hope he agrees to the terms of this deal, because I badly need help in the house. I’m exhausted all the time.” — Osonmeyi, 34, Lekki

Birthday Suit

“My husband is working out of town now. I can finally sleep naked in peace without him thinking it’s an invitation. Nope, I don’t feel guilty for it.” — Amaka I. 27, Festac

Rock, Paper, Scissors

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“My husband and I, we used rock-paper-scissors to decide who had to go on top. #tiredsex.” — Lolade, 28, Surulere

Hey, Where’s My Err… Dildo?

“I would like to know where my 5-year-old hid my dildo, but I have no idea how to even approach that conversation. I have rehearsed in the mirror, but I still cannot bring myself to ask her.” — Tomisin, 37, Ikeja

No, not for birth control

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“I make DH wear condoms sometimes. Not for birth control, but for the sheer fact that I think I deserve the opportunity to put my underwear back on and roll over to go to sleep while he has to get his ass up to clean himself.” — Ahuoiza, 36, Ikorodu

Twice In One Day!

“My husband and I got caught twice the same day! We were having a very flirty Saturday, so when our four-year-old daughter glued herself in front of Daniel Tiger,we ran up to our bedroom for some adults-only action. We didn’t have a bedroom door at the time (it’s a long renovation story), and a few minutes later I saw her peeking in at us. Thankfully, we were covered with blankets, and we just stopped and sent her back downstairs. A couple hours later she went down for a nap, so we ran up to our room to finish what we had begun earlier. Right when things were starting to get good, I heard from the doorway, ‘Mummy, I’m awake.’ That was it — I told my husband that he wasn’t getting any until we had a door. He hung it back that night!” — Halima I, 28, Abuja

She’s Dreaming

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“When my daughter was three, she walked into our bedroom and asked, ‘Mommy, are there wild animals in here? I can hear them!’ We told her, ‘No, you were dreaming.’ It still makes me and my husband laugh to this day.” — Obiajulu, 32, Osapa London

He Gives Good Gifts

“My husband bought me a vibrator as he thought it would make me more sexual towards him. No, it just made him unnecessary.” — Elo B. 42, Abuja

It’s A Marathon!

“I just had marathon drunken sex with my hubby, and neither one of us finished. We could’ve saved a lot of time and effort if we would’ve gone to sleep instead.” — Eka Eket, 41, Calabar

Sleepy Head

“After a couple of drinks I was going down on my husband, and I fell asleep right in the middle of the act. His penis was just in my mouthbasically acting like a pacifier.To this day, he jokingly calls me Sleepy Head.” —Tiara R., 26, Port Harcourt

This article was first published on AfricaParent.com



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