A lot of people I have encountered always have this question on their lips – the soon-to-be-married ones, that is. Would it be apt to say society is changing and so are the things in it? A couple of years ago this topic would not even be thought of, let alone spoken about, but we find ourselves discussing it today. 

A growing trend of bachelorette parties these days is having that one last fling before the ring. Long a staple of bachelor parties, such hook-ups were the reason why it was an unspoken agreement amongst the groom and his friends not to talk about the things that happened on the night before the wedding. With the fading away of gender-based morality, women too have claimed for themselves the right to one “last night of fun and freedom” before walking down the aisle. But at the end of the day, how wise is such a fling and what does a night filled with indiscretions indicate for the commitment that you are about to enter the next day reveling in the final moments before the lockdown of marriage?

Are you truly ready for marriage? Obviously before you decided to get married to your spouse you two must have dated for a while. If so what is the need for one final fling before tying the knot? If indeed you are ready for that life long commitment of marriage, getting down and dirty before your big day should be the last thing on your mind. Besides if you wanted a fling you should have done that long before you make the decision to date. If you are completely sure he is the one for you and you are ready to settle with him then you should be thinking of things like how much you love him, what married life is going to look like etc. you should be looking forward to your wedding more than anything. If on the eve of your wedding you want to do nothing more than getting drunk on the lap of strange men and having a fling, then surely somewhere your innermost desires and conscious plans are mismatched – in other words you are not really ready for true commitment.

What does it augur for the future? Have you taken a moment to consider what a final fling would do for your marriage? The harm you may cause to yourself and future partner. Besides if you cannot control your desire and emotions just a day or two before the D-day then how would you control yourself after the commitment has been made? What if things do not go according to plan and it results into a baby? Before you know it, you would be living a life of lies, deceit and blackmail. Take a moment to think of what that would do for your marriage.

What can you do about it? Society would tell you it is perfectly all right to have a night of carelessness before your wedding to mark your passage into married life. These notions are largely propagated by vehicles of pop culture such as movies, novels and television shows. While it may seem funny and dramatic on the screen or in books trust me you don’t need all that drama in real life. In other words, if you are under pressure to be involved in something of sorts, keep in mind that you do have a choice. You can opt for the reckless night that undermines the man or woman you need to be and the sanctity of your marriage, or you can choose to celebrate the fact that you found that one person you want to be with for the rest of your life. A good idea is to plan a joint bachelor/bachelorette party weekend where you and your fiancé can party together with some games, laughter and memories. Even if you do a party separately, ensure that you keep to things that you can take pictures of and tell one another about without shame or guilt. In the end, you will be glad that you had surrounded yourselves with friends who were full of integrity and helped to promote your marriage, and you will be thankful for a wise choice where you didn’t have to worry about what the other one was doing.



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