[SISI WENDY] The law governing Friends with Benefit

There can only be one law guiding Friends with Benefit (FWB) relationships. Only one law. If you live by it, abide by it, don’t falter, make it your mantra, you will have a blissful relationship without borders. But if you don’t, and you try to outsmart the law, you’re heading for an emotional disaster.

Don’t get attached!

That’s the only law you need to know. For those who don’t know, FWB is a safer way to have a relationship. It is not advised but it is encouraged. It involves more sexual interaction and less emotional ones. It works mainly for the busy bees, the heartbroken, the emotionally distant, people with trust issues but still need to adhere to the callings of nature, etc.

FWB can be initiated at any form and anywhere. Places where a partner can be met vary from social places like the club to more serene and formal environments such as meetings and corporate institutions. The key to making an FWB work is by having an agreement not to be emotionally attached to each other. Now as the human nature is, most especially to the vulnerable one ─ females ─ this is always almost hard to live by and it so happens that people do eventually fall for themselves.

However if you do manage to adhere to the rules of the game, its benefits are great. According to research, sex is a vital form for living. It aids brain action and rejuvenates several aspects in the human body. This is why for the workaholic, it is a therapy, a vice they live by. You don’t necessarily have to be in a relationship to have a FWB for those who may not have time to perform relationship duties. All you have to do is agree where it is you and your partner finds conducive enough and meet.

This could be anywhere ranging from each other’s houses to office places et al. But this is more for the free spirited. The uptight working class who are too emotionally detached to be in a relationship would rather meet at formal places such as lodges or resorts, solely depending on one’s fantasy. It keeps you in check and at the same time doesn’t make you too needy and grumpy.

As fun as this may be, getting caught up in the act can be disastrous. This is where emotional attachment sets in and ruins the person who happens to fall. It suddenly becomes judgmental and unrequited, blaming the other person for not feeling the same way you feel. Everyday friend interaction creates suspicion of disloyalty and unfaithfulness; a certain curiosity as to if it’s an exclusive relationship or one with several partners.

Also FWB tends to destroy one’s love and intimate life. The need to have a normal relationship suddenly fazes out and the need to remain emotionally detached becomes addictive. Loneliness sets in and the mere sight of two lovers spark a certain anger or pain or hurt making grumpiness a way of living, hence giving you more reason to engage in the release of these overwhelming emotions, leaving you once again emotionless. It becomes a roller coaster.

FWB works mostly for a short term period. You shouldn’t plan to be busy forever or remain lonely. There is beauty sharing love with someone else who finds love in you. That is why FWB will only work for those who approach it with an open mind. If two partners involved in the act find love in themselves, it’s a bumper package. FWB will be more effective if the rules applied to it are kept. It just like the rules of any other normal relationship.