Seven tips to handle conflict in relationships

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship; be it romantic, familial, or platonic. However, it is not inherently destructive but how it is handled can make all the difference.

Poorly managed conflict can break a relationship but when handled with care and intentionality, the bond between partners can be strengthened.

Effective conflict resolution fosters mutual respect, and understanding, and even deepens the connection between individuals.

Here are practical tips for managing conflict healthily and constructively.

• Express your feelings openly

Effective communication is key to resolving conflict in a relationship.

Remember, your partner is not a mind reader. So, you have to express what is bothering you in a firm, honest, respectful, and caring manner.

While expressing your feelings, avoid throwing out blame and criticism. For example, avoid using the words “always” and “never” as it can make your partner feel attacked.

Avoid concluding and assuming on your partner’s behalf on an issue as well. Rather, talk about it, ask for clarifications, and listen to your partner’s side of the story.

This will help create a safe space for open dialogue where partners can better understand each other’s perspectives.

• Practice active listening

In managing conflict, listening is as important as communicating.

While your partner is communicating his/her feelings, how are you reacting? This influences the outcome of the resolution.

To handle conflict constructively, you have to practice active listening.

Active listening involves giving your partner full attention when speaking, making eye contact, not interrupting, and nodding to show you’re engaged.

This gives the impression that you acknowledge and understand your partner’s feelings and point of view.

It also makes your partner feel valued, respected, and heard, which can significantly deescalate tension.

• Focus on the matter at hand

During a disagreement, try as much as possible not to cross the lines and start insulting your partner or bringing up past issues.

Doing any of these will only make the disagreement more complicated and resolution more challenging.

So, focus on the issue that caused the disagreement. Sort the issues once at a time.

Concentrating on resolving that particular issue will keep the conversation productive and effective.

Also, if your partner continuously and aggressively insults or curses you during the tiniest disagreement, you might be in a toxic relationship.

• Compromise

Compromising is often needed during conflict resolution.

It is important to recognize that you won’t always get your way, and that is okay. So, try to find a balance between what you both want and are comfortable with.

By prioritising the health of the relationship over being right, you can foster a sense of teamwork and mutual respect.

• Take responsibility and apologise

Effective conflict resolution involves admitting when you are wrong and taking responsibility.

After owning what is yours, apologise sincerely. An apology can go a long way in mending hurt feelings and restoring trust.

Taking responsibility for your actions is not a weakness but it shows maturity and a willingness to make amends.

It also helps to resolve the conflict more quickly.

It is also important to forgive your partner when they apologise, allowing both of you to move forward without holding onto resentment.

• Take a break when needed

Sometimes, a conflict can become too heated to resolve in the moment.

When the atmosphere is tense and emotions are high, it is okay to take a break.

Taking a break to cool down before continuing the resolution allows you to collect your emotions and thoughts, it also reduces the risk of saying hurtful things to each other.

However, keep at it and ensure to agree on a time to continue the resolution. Do not sweep it under the rug but address it with a calmer mindset.

• Seek help when needed

If the conflict seems impossible to resolve, guidance from a professional — a counselor or therapist — can be helpful.

A third party who is neutral can help provide valuable insights, develop better communication skills, and guide in resolving these issues.

Seeking help from a third party is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards improving your relationship.