Breakup is usually a difficult experience for a lot of people. It is heartbreaking and often takes a toll on those affected emotionally and mentally.


It is normal to grapple with emotional traumas after going through a breakup.

However, there are some things you should avoid after your relationship ends to help you heal properly.

Although it is easier said than done, you should try as much as possible to avoid doing the following:

  • Don’t blame yourself

Don’t try to play the blame game. No matter the situation around the breakup, don’t blame yourself. Some relationships are not just meant to be forever.

Blaming yourself over spilled milk is not the next line of action, it will even make the situation worse. Rather, understand that you both are not meant to be together and avoid being a failure because of a failed relationship.

  • Don’t post about it on social media

It is not necessary trust me. Don’t go ahead to social media to post or call out your ex-lover.


All you will get online is sympathy which is usually not genuine in most cases. Rather, be the bigger person and keep it private.

  • Don’t dwell on the past

This is really hard to do but you have to move past it for your own good. It is absolutely okay to let out your feeling after a failed relationship but it is advisable to move on.

Dwelling on the past for too long can cause depression and anxiety. Sometimes, you might even want to give up on love. This should not be the case.

  • Don’t pretend you’re fine

It is okay not to be okay for a while. Don’t bottle up your emotions. It is not advisable. Cry, talk to a friend or therapist if it will help you heal.


You’re a human being and it is expected of you to feel disappointed after a breakup, so let the feeling out. However, don’t be on it for too long.

  • Don’t change your looks over a breakup

Due to the pain experienced after a breakup, the thought of changing your personality is often difficult to ignore. But it is something you have to deal with.

Cutting off your hair, changing your hair colour, among others is not changes you should embark on to try to impress your ex after a breakup. Rather, change for your sake, for good, and to be a better version of yourself.

  • Don’t stalk your ex

Trying to keep a tab on your ex after a breakup is of no use. You have no reason to do so. I understand you already planned to be together forever but it is time to accept reality and move on.


Stalking your ex on every social media platform is not healthy and it will further affect your healing process.

  • Revenge

It is common to think about retaliating over the pain someone has caused you. However, it is unhealthy to do so.

After a breakup, don’t try to revenge. It is immature and dangerous to have plans to revenge. You should instead put in that strength to build yourself.

Breakup is heartbreaking. That is understandable but remember it is not the end of the world. Rather than wallowing in the pain, love yourself, re-strategise, and remember that self-love and care is key to happiness.


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