Apologising is a part of any human interaction and quite a common practice most of us are used to. We’ll always be prone to disagreeing with others or stepping on the toes of others intentionally, or unintentionally.


However, the commonness of apologies doesn’t make them any easier, especially when words might seem to fail to express how a person might feel at the moment.

Effectively apologising is the type of apology driven by genuity which mostly leads to the resolution of the previous conflict.

We discuss five guidelines on how to achieve this effective apology.

  • Acknowledge That You’re Wrong

Accepting one is wrong isn’t a reality a lot of people are ready to admit. This makes genuine apology an uncommon virtue in a lot of relationships.

What have you done wrong? Why do you think the other party feels offended? Admitting your wrongdoing not only shows a sense of remorse but might actually be a good start in the process of making an apology.

  • Run Through Your Remorse Internally

Everything you do or say comes from thoughts, or decisions, you have previously made in your mind. Making an apology isn’t an exception.


You may have to carefully think over your actions that offended the other person even before approaching the person with an apology.

By thinking through the events which triggered the offence, you could be analysing carefully what exactly you did wrong and then, prepare a suitable form of apology. In fact, while thinking things over, you must have to first decide to approach the other party to apologize.

  • Express Your Regret

Now that you have acknowledged your wrong to the other person, an effective apology would have to be followed by your expression of regret.

You have to make it plain to the other person that you regret wronging them. Likewise, keep this part of the apology sincere, simple, and free of excuses.


Avoid justifying your offence even if you may have been right. Remember, apologizing isn’t about what you did right, but about your regret for something you did. Focus your energy on expressing regret and forget about making excuses.

  • Let It Come From The Heart

Apologising is a heart thing meaning that it comes from a place of emotions.

Amplify and maximize your emotions to make your apology raw and real.

But in spite of this, you may also want to be logical as you make your apology. Avoid using words or phrases that could negate your apology such as; “but” etc

  • Express Your Repentance

Although you’ve acknowledged your wrongdoing, run through your actions in your heart, let your apology come from your heart, and expressed your regret, apologies are incomplete without repentance.

Repentance is basically moving away from doing the wrong a person was formerly guilty of.

In the case of an apology, you will want to assure the other party of a relationship with them free of future occurrences of the same offence.

But that is not all, you must mean your repentance and stick to your promises. 

  • Gift The Person You Offended

Some of you may have noticed that characters in movies often gift the character they’re apologizing to.

This is no fiction as it applies to reality.

Depending on the graveness of your offence, gifting this person could hasten the forgiveness process especially if this person’s love language is Gifting.

Remember that although gifting works wonders during apologies, it could mean absolutely nothing for an insincere apology.

Do you know any other steps to aid in apologizing effectively? Kindly let me know in the comments.

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