Eight tips on how to talk to your kids about sex

Sex education is very important in this era as society has become highly civilised and sexualised. Now, kids tend to be easily exposed to sexual languages, images, and behaviors even before they are developmentally, psychologically, and mentally prepared to handle them.

So, it is advisable for parents to be their kids’ first source of information about sex and sexuality.

Without further ado, here are tips you can use to engage your kids about sex.

• Prepare/educate yourself

This is the very first thing to do as a parent before engaging in sex talk with your kids. Some parents find it really uncomfortable to speak to their kids about sex, that’s why preparing yourself is essential.

Go out of your way to learn more about sexuality and sex. Find out the most comfortable way for you to have the conversation and build on it.

• Both parents must be involved

Parenting is the responsibility of both parties — father and mother — not just the mother like society makes it look. So as soon as you think it’s time to start having sex conversations with your kids, both parents must be involved.

This will enable certain levels of freedom from the kids to talk to you (parents) about sex and even feel comfortable in their bodies. As they grow older, they will further have the mindset of sharing their sexual feelings and intimate relationships with you.

• Start from the basics

The fact is it’s never too early to discuss sex education with your child. The sex talk is a long-lasting conversation so you will have to take it from the scratch.

Also, try to have the conversation with simple and precise words that are best understood by the kids. Explain according to their age, level of understanding, and knowledge.

• Use the correct terminologies for body parts.

During the conversation, be factual and precise. When you’re talking about the body parts, use the correct names — like penis, vagina, scrotum, etc.

Using another name for the body parts might make the kids think it’s a weird or bad thing to say. When the body parts are called rightly, kids will be able to clearly communicate about their body to you or any other rightful person like a doctor.

• Explain in details

You have to be detailed and factual while having these conversations with your children. Do not educate them halfway, but explain in detail. If their understanding will be better-using diagrams then use it.

• Create a safe environment

Prepare the most comfortable space for the conversation. Let the atmosphere be calm and free, this will make the conversation interesting rather than weird.

When the environment is less tense, your children will be free to ask you any questions on their minds. They will be happy to ask you questions and they will not be forced to learn/ask their peers.

• Teach them to be sensitive and observant

Let them understand they need to be sensitive and observant of any kind of body change. Encourage them to be familiar with their body and the way it operates — for example keeping track of their menstruation.

When kids are taught how to be sensitive about their bodies, they understand the value of their bodies. They will know the difference between the rightful touch and otherwise. They will also know the rightful person to touch them and who is not and also what to do when touched wrongly.

• Talk about it over and over again

Sex talk is a long-lasting conversation. Discuss sex and sexuality often and normalize it.

If sex talk is normalized, kids will have more questions to ask and there will be something to talk about every time. By doing this, at the end of the day, you will be surprised how much you have taught them.

The conversation isn’t a one-off, it’s a continuous process that is expected to evolve as the child is growing.

Sex education is advisable from an early age as it is packed with a lot of benefits. So, take every opportunity to have a conversation with your kids.