Marriage. The word some of us consider with a blend of curiosity, apprehension, and excitement.
For some, marriage connotes a life-long partnership, for others, a partnership to be condoned for a period of time.
Today’s piece is channeled towards people who intend to go into marriage “until death do us part”.
What are some factors to consider before delving in?
Marriage Isn’t A Bed Of Roses
Because of how romanticised marriage has been portrayed, it’s very easy to sometimes slip into the expectation that once one is married, everything will be peachy. This “happily ever after” effect is not only unreal but could result in avoidable heartbreak when, upon getting married, a person is washed out with disappointment.
Before going into marriage, it’s therefore of maximum importance to come to terms with the reality that marriage is a journey with ups and downs — good days and bad ones. And what makes the difference is how a couple decides to work around their lives together.
Love Does Not Sustain Marriage
You may already know this, however, it’s important to always keep this in mind.
Literature, the media, movies, etc, have painted a false impression in our minds that once a person loves another, they can have a marriage that will last forever.
You Cannot Change Your Spouse
If you have it in mind to try and change your spouse into a version of themselves you prefer, then going into marriage might not be a good idea just yet.
Oftentimes, we convince ourselves to date someone with the intention of changing them before or during the marriage. In fact, this sort of mentality is a recipe for disaster as one could get frustrated when the partner whom they thought they could change remains the same.
Consider who you intend to marry and ask yourself this: “Can I be married to this person just as they are, even if they never change?” If your answer is “no”, then it’s most likely that issues rooted in their character will spring up along the line.
However, if the answer is “yes”, that’s a good place to start. While you can bring up their character flaws as the relationship progresses, you can be guaranteed that no matter the outcome, you have chosen to be with this person just the way they are.
You’ll Be Taking On More Responsibilities
Sometimes people think that once they get married, it’s cruising all the way. On the contrary, getting married is like signing up for bigger responsibilities.
Now, you have added your spouse’s family and concerns to yours and this means you’ll not only be responsible for more duties but for more lives.
For instance, if you and your spouse begin raising kids, you have now become responsible for their lives. So things like their education, upbringing, healthcare, are on your table.
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