Timi Dakolo: Why I told my kids about their mum’s rape saga

Timi Dakolo, Nigerian musician, says he and Busola, his wife, informed their children about how she was allegedly raped by a pastor when she was 16 years.

The music star spoke about the rape saga when he appeared on the latest episode of ‘Toke Moments‘, a YouTube series by Toke Makinwa, media personality.

The lovebirds have been at the centre of a lingering controversy since Busola alleged that Biodun Fatoyinbo, senior pastor of the Commonwealth of Zion Assembly (COZA), raped her on two occasions while she was a teenager.

Although the clergyman dismissed the rape allegations made against him, the case has refused to die down.

Speaking on the show, Dakolo said his concept of raising kids is one that allows them to freely express themselves.

“Yes, we informed our kids. I think I raised my kids differently. Children love validation. My kids can talk to me and express themselves very well. I had to make them know that their mother is a superhero. I explained that it was a painful experience that happened when their mum was very young,” he said.

“They understood even though they might not know the gravity of what it was. They understood that something was happening. So, anytime they go to her, they give her a hug.”

The ‘Iyawo Mi’ crooner also recounted the difficulty the family faced handling the matter at the time.

According to him, his celebrity photographer wife initially found it difficult approaching him to talk about the issue and her resolve to make it public.

Dakolo said he remains resolute in his support for Busola because of his love for her and believes in the “for better, for worse” marital vow.

“When you tell someone that, ‘I’ve got you’, be true about it. Oftentimes, we associate being a man with muscle, biceps and strength. The pain that one feels that is not physical is the real pain,” he said.

“When one tells one’s partner, ‘for better, for worse’, most people think it is just ‘for the better’ because one cannot quantify the worse. It does not announce itself. When one says those words, one has to be sure. Don’t say it because everyone is saying it. Many times, she had wanted to tell me certain things but I had waved her off. I had known about the issue and telling me was not easy for her.”

Dakolo added that he wasn’t scared that what happened to his wife would affect his brand at any point in time.

“No, I was not worried that her story might affect my success. People don’t get it. Someone once asked me this question and I said I would always know how to sing. In the midst of six million people, I would sing and people would notice,” he said.

“The word ‘man’ is synonymous with responsibility and one won’t need certain things when one is strong. When they say family first, it means let everything stop. It’s not in the good times alone.”

He enjoined those going through similar experiences not to feel intimidated or ashamed in sharing their stories with the public.

The lovebirds tied the knot in 2012 and the union has been blessed with three children.