[SISI WENDY] Five soul-lifting songs for your broken heart

If you’re freshly heartbroken, stop what you’re about to do – listening to sad songs. It won’t help anything, trust me. Sad love songs will only make you depressed and reminisce on what would have been and what you would have done better, beating yourself all the more for something that might not have even been your fault at all.

So instead of putting yourself through the torture of listening to Michael Bolton’s How Do I Live Without You, I’ve compiled a list of songs that are more equally sad but more uplifting after. I won’t join the bandwagon and paint it to you that you won’t feel bad after a break up; you would. And you need it more than ever to let that phase pass, as it is inevitable but you must also do it the right way.

Sia’s Big Girls Cry: Yes – big girls do cry. Don’t listen to anyone who says they don’t and banish the thought of Listening to Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry because the truth is, on the contrary, they actually do and it’s ok to. Sia’s Big Girls Cry reminds everyone that you’re not as tough inside as you think to deal with such painful situations. It is totally OK to cry and I endorse it. Because crying relieves you of the hurt and that pain, maybe not totally but a huge chunk of it will be lifted off your chest. So yes, big girls cry when their hearts are breaking.

John Legend’s You and I: Break-ups have the tendency of making one feel worthless and zap away your confidence. When freshly broken up, you walk on the streets or drive around like the whole world is judging you or waiting to cast their stones. They don’t understand, you think, and that is why whoever approaches you at that moment you immediately self-defensive. It’s not their fault and it’s not yours either. You just need a confidence boost and you’d get that in the right and needed proportion with John Legend’s You and I. If you don’t have anyone to sing it to you, play the song and sing it to yourself in the mirror. Continually tell yourself that out of everyone, there’s nobody in the world that would make you feel good about yourself but you and out of all the stars you make them shine like they were yours and see your confidence boost to the highest level.

Beyoncé’s Pretty Hurts: I picked this song by Beyoncé because often and on when you just went through a break-up, your friends or loved ones in a bid to get you out of it and into the groove once again insist you change your looks or something about you. “Wear more makeup, you’ll attract the right guy or wear tighter clothes and you’ll see the throng…and you’ll soon realize you aren’t missing anything from the one that broke your heart.” It never works; it only leaves you hurting more. We try to fix something but we can’t fix what we can’t see. Because it’s not your outlook that hurts, it’s your soul that needs a surgery. So you wear the make-up to look different, are you happy eventually? Pretty hurts sometimes and perfection is the disease of a nation. When you strip away the masquerade and the illusion is shed, you would be happy with yourself.

Leah Mitchell’s Cannon Ball: A lot of people think heartbreak means staying indoors, wrapped underneath the sheets and curtains drawn shut. The dark is the coziest companion right now. Only it understands the turmoil you’re going through and the only trips you take are to the bathroom and to the kitchen for a refill on that ice cream. As clichéd as this sound, it’s the gospel truth: it isn’t. Yes, you’re broken and you’re scared to death you might be losing your mind, it’s normal but you can’t keep hiding forever and the sooner you let yourself know that the better. You need freedom; once you let go of the fear the peace will come quickly. So why not get up, get out, yearn towards a new beginning, start living once again and fly like a cannon ball.

Demi Levato’s Let it Go: I cannot emphasise more the importance of letting it all go. The entire emotional trauma, the hurt the pains, free yourself of it. The words to this song are enough to be written on to explain how glad you’d be when you do so. Don’t let them in; the people who want to make sure you hurt, don’t let them see; how you hurt because you are queens and kings, be the good girl or boy you always had to be. “I know I left a life behind but I’m too relieved to grieve…You won’t find me, the past is so behind me” should be your mantra.