Why we settle for less in relationships

Everyone has their ‘spec’. For some, they have their dream partner detailed to the last hair but that’s all it ever is — a dream. 

The partner-specific dream becoming reality has evaded most people, leaving many in loveless marriages or compelling them to settle.

The truth is, most people don’t even realise they’ve settled until the euphoria of the fresh love has vanished and they are left with regrets and yearnings.

Here are three major factors why we settle in relationships.

Time factor

For women, there’s the ticking biological clock and for men, there’s the constant pressure from the family end to settle down.

So when people start to feel old, they usually settle for the closest available option; the next best alternative.

Self-esteem

The person you chose to spend your life with is often a close reflection of who you are. This, basically, means that most people end up with partners whose level of attractiveness, intelligence, financial security, etc, are close to theirs.

Even when it comes to personality, if some people do not think they are amazing or have high self esteem, they would not feel good enough to be with someone they think (or the world believes) is a great person.

Some may even get lucky enough to start dating an amazing person but along the line, feeling they aren’t quite good enough, they unconsciously sabotage the relationship.

Same self-esteem principle applies to men who date women who earn more than them.

In the end, they most often settle for someone who they don’t feel intimidated by.

Loneliness

Humans are vulnerable creatures. The fear of being alone is enough to cripple most people.

Yes, we crave love and companionship because that is how we are wired but for some people, the degree to which they need that love and attention is on the higher end of the spectrum.

When some get uncomfortable with being alone for a long period of time, they tend to settle.