Relationship: For partnership or sponsorship

BY TOBI YUSUF

When you check the reason many people get into relationships these days, you can hardly find any tied to love. As a matter of fact, many people approach love with the idea of falling in love with a wealthy person. The cliché, “what do you bring to the table?” has become the bane of many relationships that would have blossomed into very beautiful and healthy unions. So, I ask, are relationships for partnership or sponsorship?

I understand the angle of ladies thinking because they were the ones approached, that they should be pampered. Sincerely, I have nothing against this ideology. But, if the roles were switched, would you still maintain this stand. And you sir, if roles were reversed, would you still make the kinds of demands that you do?

I mean, would you still think the ladies who ask to be pampered are gold diggers? More importantly, ladies and gentlemen, don’t we all wish to be pampered by the one person we have decided to commit to?

In my opinion, relationships are for partnerships as well as sponsorships because if you feel comfortable with being without either of these components, I feel something is fundamentally wrong with what you call love.

You should be able to work with me to build trust between the two of us and even with our friends and families. I also should be willing to work with you on that journey. Equally importantly, we both should not feel burdened when it comes to helping each other, which is sponsorship.

Either of us should never be pressured through unreasonable demands to give what we cannot afford nor make it a habit of persistently being on the receiving end without giving in return.
Dear reader, please never forget that love, be it platonic or Phileo, requires a lot of sacrifice to blossom.

If you understand that whatever you sow (no matter where or when) you will reap, you become more delightful in giving to others, especially the one you have committed to loving for life.

My admonition to the lazy and avaricious whose only motivation for getting into a relationship is to reap where they have not and may never sow is that you desist from such acts.

It is not a crime that somebody has chosen to love you with their all; stop making a fuss when they cannot afford what you demand. The moment someone gives up what’s theirs unwillingly, it becomes extortion not love, sacrifice or even partnership.

Together, let us all honor the love we share and watch not only how our relationships but our world at large, blossoms.

Tobi Yusuf, founder of RIAH Events & Weddings, Relationship Mentor, convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections