If you’re reading this hoping to get back together with your ex-lover, you’re probably reading the right article. However, applying the suggestions made in this article, may not guarantee that you win your ex back. But like a famous quote goes, ‘If you never try, you’ll never know what you are capable of.’
Unlike popular opinion and breakup songs, a breakup doesn’t have to be permanent. Notwithstanding, getting together with an ex doesn’t mean you have to desperately woo them back.
An important point to note while going through with this is that the chances of your ex coming back together is low. With this in mind, you are ready to proceed.
Chances are; if your ex also wants you back, these suggested steps would be easier to apply than on the contrary.
Here are five suggestions to follow through:
- First, Evaluate Yourself
Irrespective of how great you are, there’s a chance you played a part in the break-up. Without trying to prove that you were right or wrong, assess the circumstances leading to the break up of your relationship.
Ask yourself questions like: ‘why am I trying to get back with XYZ?’, and ‘what would I do differently should we get back together?’ You’re not asking these questions to provide the right answers but to give yourself a sense of who you were formerly, how you picture yourself in the future, and why you believe your ex should remain in the picture.
Successfully reflecting on these questions will give you time to get rid of toxicity towards your ex and deal with whatever emotions you may be going through.
- Give Them Space
Breakups essentially mean that a relationship is over. Period. However, seeing as you have reasons to believe you may have a shot with an ex, it isn’t wise to bug them immediately after breaking up.
Respect their space; which includes not showing up uninvited at their house, or calling them up.
- No Stalking
Except you’re Joe Goldberg from the series You, you have no business stalking your ex with the intent of getting together with them. Do not check up on their social media activities (this is easier said than done but you can do it).
You’ll need to get rid of your ex from your mind to be able to properly evaluate your emotions and how you feel about the break-up. That way, when you finally decide to get together, it’ll be from a place of choice and not compulsion or neediness.
- Schedule a Meeting
When you have given your ex space they asked for and you have had time to process your thoughts, you may contact them.
This might be the most difficult step to take in winning back your ex. Try to be wise about it. Would you need to reach them through mutual friends, or family? Would you have to make this invitation in person or over the phone? These are factors to bear in mind when making preparations to contact your ex.
The best thing to do is understanding the kind of person your ex is. Are they likely to pick offence if contacted over the phone to discuss such matters? Would they be psyched to know you contacted their family? etc. These are questions to keep in mind.
Should you succeed in contacting them, go straight to the point. Let them know you want to have a conversation with them and then set up a meeting place, date, and time.
Also, don’t be late for your own meeting, for Pete’s sake!
- Address The Reason For The Breakup
When you have properly taken the time off them to think, and scheduled a meeting, you may then proceed to address the elephant or elephants in the room.
Have a meaningful conversation with them discussing the reasons they broke up with you or vice versa. Also, proceed to let them know how you feel about the situation and your thoughts on getting back together. Be careful not to manipulate, beg, or impose your opinions on them. Rather, be assertive and objective in your approach.
Remember, that your ex has every right not to feel the same way about the idea of getting back together. Should this be the case, dismiss things as amicably as possible and part ways. Should you want to remain friends after this, let them know and get their opinion too on the matter.
- Can Your Issues Be Fixed
Ask yourself if whatever caused the breakup is fixable. For instance, if the cause of the breakup was infidelity. Are you and your ex willing to move past the ugly sides you’ve had and in future, avoid cheating?
If the answer is ‘no’, then there’s every possibility, the matter will come up again. If this is the case, maybe it’s time to let them go and move on with your life.
If however, the cause of the break up can be fixed, then it’s time for both of you to do better, decide mutually if you want to revive the relationship, and based on whatever decision is reached, get back together, or move on with your separate lives.
Kindly share, should these steps actually work out for you. Good luck as you get your ex back. But remember, you’re worth more than any breakup; no matter how bad it is.
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