BY TOBI YUSUF
We often hear people talk about work-life balance. Some say there’s really no such thing, that it’s more about work-life integration, learning to flow with the seasons of life instead of trying to separate them neatly.
I’ve come to realise the same truth applies to marriage. There isn’t really a perfect marriage balance. Instead, there’s what I like to call marriage-life balance – that delicate rhythm between love, purpose, and the unpredictability of real life.
My husband travels a lot for work. It’s part of his calling and a big part of who he is. Over the years, I’ve learned to adapt to that reality. I don’t get upset when he travels, at least not in a way that disrupts our peace. Of course, there are moments that sting, like when his trips fall on birthdays or family milestones.
For instance, he was abroad recently for work, and it happened to be his birthday. I care deeply about birthdays, and so does he, but this year, we’re spending it apart. At first, I felt that familiar ache of disappointment. But I’ve learned that sometimes, love looks like letting life happen.
“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1
Funny enough, my own birthday is coming up soon, and I’ve been invited on a FAM trip to Italy – a wonderful opportunity I’d love to attend. I thought to myself, imagine if I had made a big fuss over him being away for his birthday, I probably wouldn’t feel as free or justified to go for mine. But because we’ve learned to flow with each other’s seasons, there’s peace, and that peace feels like balance.
There was another moment that taught me this lesson even more deeply. A few years ago, on our daughter’s birthday, my husband had to travel for work. I wasn’t happy about it, not at all. It felt unfair, and I remember being quietly upset that he couldn’t be there for her special day.
But two years later, the trip that once frustrated me turned out to be the foundation for something beautiful. The person he met during that work trip has since become a valuable connection, one that ended up blessing me in a very unique way.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” — Romans 8:28
And that’s when it hit me that sometimes, the things that inconvenience us in the moment are the same things that shape our story later.
Marriage isn’t about perfectly splitting time, energy, or emotions. It’s about finding a rhythm — a give and take that allows both partners to grow, support, and pursue purpose without guilt or resentment.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)
We won’t always be side by side for every celebration or milestone, but we can always be aligned in heart. That’s where the real balance is – not in sameness, but in support.
So yes, maybe there’s no such thing as marriage balance in the traditional sense. But there is a marriage-life balance: where love, patience, and understanding meet real life, and together, they learn to dance.
Tobi Yusuf, the founder of RIAH Events and Weddings, a Relationship Mentor and the convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.
Copyright 2025 TheCable. All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from TheCable.
Follow us on twitter @Thecablestyle