In a world filled with opinions, couples face a constant buzz about how to love, when to get married, and how much money is “enough” for a relationship to be genuine. Social media, family pressure, influencers, and random online strangers all have something to say. But the truth is that the only people who get a vote in your relationship are the two of you.
Stop Measuring Against the Crowd
You’ve seen it before:
The Instagram-perfect proposal with a ring that costs more than a car. TikTok couples promote the concept of “six-figure love” and “alpha provider energy.”
Aunties are asking, “When’s the wedding?”
Friends whispering, “He still doesn’t have a house?”
It’s easy to get swept up in it all. However, the reality is that these standards are often unrealistic, unkind, and unnecessary.
Every couple has its own rhythm. Some move in together before marriage. Some skip marriage entirely. Some people grind through debt, take on side hustles, or make career shifts before even considering wedding parties, rings, and ceremonies. And guess what? That’s normal. That’s okay. That’s real.
The Marriage Timeline Myth
There’s this unspoken rulebook that says:
Date for X years → Get married by X age → Buy a house → Have kids → Reach financial “stability” → Live happily ever after.
However, that rulebook doesn’t show the couples who got married because they felt forced to, then split two years later. Or the ones who had the wedding but are drowning in debt and resentment. Or the ones who hit every milestone, yet still feel empty inside.
Love isn’t a checklist. Success isn’t a wedding hashtag. Commitment isn’t proven by money.
Why Couples Should Focus on Themselves
When couples tune out the noise and tune in to each other, something shifts. Instead of chasing external validation, they start building internal strength. Instead of impressing strangers, they invest in understanding.
Here’s what that looks like in real life:
Setting relationship goals you care about, not what your parents or peers expect. Talking openly about money, fears, goals, and your realities without shame.
Choosing when (or if) to marry based on emotional readiness, not timelines. Celebrating small wins, such as paying off a credit card or surviving a tough month.
Building a relationship on respect, not pressure. This is what healthy love looks like: grounded, intentional, honest.
How to Block Out the Judgment
Mute the noise. Unfollow the content that makes you feel “behind.” Don’t engage with toxic comparison culture.
Set your own definitions. What does success look like for you as a couple? Write it down. Revisit it.
Talk money without ego. Money is not a test of love. Talk strategy, not status. Be transparent, not performative.
Remember: Marriage is not the finish line. It’s a tool, a choice, and not a badge of worth. Many couples thrive unmarried. Many married couples are miserable. Choose what fits you.
Protect your peace. Not every question deserves an answer. “When’s the wedding?” → “When we decide it’s right for us.”
Final Thought: Love Loud, But Live Quiet
The best relationships are not always the loudest. They’re not always trending. But they’re real. And that’s what matters.
Ignore the crowd.
Ignore the pressure.
Focus on each other.
Build your version of love, not someone else’s highlight reel.
Visit marriageandmoney.com.ng for money conversation templates to help you and the person you wish to share love and life with.
Adetutu Afolabi is a Personal Freedom Coach helping families build wealth through aligned values and intentional living. She believes strong relationships are key to lasting financial freedom
Copyright 2025 TheCable. All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from TheCable.
Follow us on twitter @Thecablestyle