Should marriage by 30 be do-or-die?

Marriage is an honorable institution ordained by the Almighty God as a blessing for those engaged in the beautiful union.

That is why it is unsurprising that as young adults begin to advance to their late 20s, from 27 years of age and going to their 30s, nervousness begins to set in when they have not found the right person or suitor to settle down with.

But, must a young man or woman be married before or at age 30? The answer lies in individual opinions, which may be shaped by the person’s background, beliefs or educational advancement. For instance, in the rural part of Nigeria, especially the north, the average marriage age for a female is 17 years, while in the urban areas, a lady is expected to be married from her early 20s before she clocks 30 as a result of consideration for her undergraduate education, which she is expected to have finished before she is 25 years old.

Suitors for some may come from school, neighborhood, parties, gatherings or through contacts by friends. Others may have been in a relationship that they hoped would end up in marriage but which eventually does not. Still, some decide to stay in an abusive relationship or courtship, even when their partner is showing all the negative signs that he is not good enough for them – signs that should prompt them to opt out of the relationship for good.

Marriage is not a do-or-die affair or a guarantee of happiness or a secured future. Singleness also has its own benefits while it lasts, but some ladies would rather stay in an abusive relationship or courtship just because they believe they are running out of time and that age is no longer on their side. Ladies approaching their late 20s and clocking 30 or even 40, think that it should not be heard that they do not have a boyfriend or suitor.

It is better to be single and have your life in sound health and be happy, than being in a relationship that saps your emotional, financial and physical energy, leaving you almost useless.

There are surely benefits that come from being patient and remaining single until the right person comes, and also leaving your life the right way. These include the opportunity to engage in developmental activities, such as further studies, volunteering in social activities that are beneficial to other people; Freedom from heartache and emotional trauma that comes from an abusive relationship where marriage is not guaranteed; opportunity to remain emotionally settled and balanced and enjoying your singleness doing the right things while it lasts; opportunity to develop yourself both emotionally and psychologically in order to be prepared for Mr or Miss Right; and opportunity to enjoy other good things that come with being single.

Crossing age 30 without a spouse is not the end of the world. And for those who are good with extracting the blessing out of every disappointment, it may well be the actual beginning of life!