In Nigerian reality TV, Mariam Timmer is a prominent figure. Her outgoing personality, vibrant fashion sense, and dramatic flair have endeared her to a wide audience. In this interview with TheCable Lifestyle’s TAIWO OSHUNLOYE, she opens up about her unexpected career in public relations, her roles as a wife and mother, her health struggles, her political ambitions, and what to expect on the Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: Africa.
TheCable Lifestyle: As a political science graduate, how did you eventually enter public relations? Was it always the dream?
Mariam: No, actually, I have never even thought of public relations in my entire life. I would say when I was in high school, I was in the social club. I was the PRO of our social club at the time. But still, I did not do anything to it. I think I was in university when I found out about PR, and I think this came into existence through, I do not know if you know, Dakova, the former designer.
He used to be one of those designers, one of the first designers back in the day. Dakova and my mom are childhood friends, so he ran a club in Abuja at the time. Obviously, I went to the University of Abuja, and I used to go to his club a lot. My friends and or my family come into town, I bring people to his club because I like his club. I liked his club at the time.
He was the one who sat me down. I think I was in my 100 level, because I did a diploma first, a two-year diploma in Business Administration, before going into 100 level. So my first year in university, he just called me one day and said ‘Miriam, do you think of working for me?’. I’m like, ‘me, working in a club? You want my mother to kill me?’
He said, ‘you come every time anyway, just come, and I will give you commission based on… You do not have to come every day. I will give you commission based on anybody you bring’. And I said, ‘Okay, at least it is money’. I think after a few months, he called me again and he said ‘Mariam, you should try and do…’. My position was PR at the time, but you know club PR is different from normal PR.
When I finished university, I decided to go into it fully professionally, and this was 2011, and that is how it started. It was never really a dream of mine; I wanted to do politics, and that was why I did Political Science.
TheCable Lifestyle: Are you still planning to venture into politics anytime soon?
Mariam: Hopefully, I am still planning on it because I did my second degree in Political Science and Diplomacy. So I am still definitely planning on that.
TheCable Lifestyle: Aside from being a media personality, reality TV star, and PR expert, you are also a wife and a mother. How are you able to balance these roles?
Mariam: I think somebody asked this question at Toke’s party on Sunday, and I said let me tell you something. You have to understand that the difference is that my job is just on national TV, it is just on social media. But it is still a job. I see it as a job. My main role is to be myself, a mom and a wife. Do you understand? So if I literally finish on the scene and I get into my house, I am not Mariam Timmer from Real Housewives of Lagos, I am just Mariam Timmer.
I am just myself, and I do not bring social media, I do not bring reality TV inside my home. It is very much separated. That person, you would see me, I am in my house, sitting on the floor eating with my hand, you know, dancing with my people, with my staff, and we are just chilling. Yes, it is a job for me, but the main job that I am being called for is to be a mom and a wife. So I really do not mix it together because I know how to differentiate it, because if not, this thing will consume you.
You know, I can not say because they are commenting about me in a bad way. I am at home, not doing what I am supposed to do for my child. Do you understand? So it is a job, and whatever comes with my job stays there. When I am at home, I am a totally different person. In terms of my responsibility, I am not a diva in the house. I can be a diva, I am not going to lie, but I am just myself to be sincere. I am spoilt, I want to be pampered, that is the way I am inside the house.
Outside, what you guys see on reality TV is that tough Mariam this and that. Yes, I am also that as well, but everybody needs a safe space where they can just be pampered, be a baby, be coddled, and that is what my home is, my family. my peace. My family is my home, so I do not want anything disrupting that, and that is why I separate both lives.
TheCable Lifestyle: What made you decide to join the cast of Real Housewives of Lagos, and how has it changed your brand?
Mariam: I got a call from America about a show that they wanted to do, a reality show for Africans. What Swanky Jerry is doing now, they wanted to do for LA. So I got a call, and they did an audition for me. Then they want to do it, they really like me, they like my personality, they are following me. I said, okay. I think it was not until literally four days or three days before the Abuja scene was shot that was when I got the call for Lagos.
When I got the call, I was like ‘hmm?’. I was even on a client’s project. At the time, one of the ladies called me and they were like, Mariam I think they need you. They want you to fly to Abuja. I am like, I do not understand. Is this how you would just move like that? And by this time, I had already given up on all this because it was not something I wanted to do to be sincere. I liked reality TV shows, but I did not think Lagos was what I wanted to join.
So when they called me, they said that I had to come for a meeting that night, so I went to the meeting. I was just myself; I was not trying to change who I am. I said this is me, and I think the next day, they sent my contract. Fourth day, Abuja. It was really like a film trick to be sincere. I also understand that most of these ladies who are on TV were probably vetted, you know, went through interviews and interviews, do you get me? Mine just literally happened. That is why nobody knew in Abuja that I was coming. None of the girls knew literally.
TheCable Lifestyle: In your view, what is the biggest misconception people have about you from the show?
Mariam: I would say different seasons, different misconceptions. So obviously, I have come a long way on the show, and for some people, it is okay for you to be an acquired taste. I think it is even the best way for people to like you. I came into season one in episode four knowing that, obviously, these girls are already here. There is already drama. Let me just… as much as I am loud, I am very self-aware as a person. I just tried to study who the girls are personally, which I did in season one. Season two, I think I was going through it; I was going through a lot in season two that a lot of girls did not know.
A bit of me was just angry at the world, and I felt like it reflected on screen because behaviour or emotions are like pregnancy, you cannot hide it for too long. It will come out. I felt like with everything, dealing with my IVF, you know. I found out during that process that I had thyroid issues while I was shooting Real Housewives, so I was just angry at everything. It is not like I do not eat healthy, I do not do stupid s**t, so why am I getting all this? Is it not enough that I have fibroids? Now it is thyroid.
So it was a lot at that time, and I think my patience was very limited. I was allergic to any b******t. So yes, were some people hurt in the process? Obviously, if something happens to you, it takes you a while to sit down and think about it. So, season one, I would say they thought I was a pushover, and I was trying to fit in. No, I am not going to go into a place and fight everybody. I need to get to know everybody one by one, which was okay, you are just getting to know me, so everybody has an opinion.
TheCable Lifestyle: The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip Africa is quite different because they are cast from different countries. How was the filming experience like?
Mariam: It was stressful because we were filming every day. Probably, throughout our stay there, we were probably like two or three days off. But I would say it was different because you know something about us Nigerians, if a Nigerian is feeling some type of way, you will feel it, you will see it. By their countenance, you will know. But with different countries, different personalities as well, it was a bit different.
To be sincere, it went way better than I expected because by the time this was happening, it was a rush for me as well. I was in America. You know, let me put it this way, I had not seen their shows. They have seen Lagos, but I had not seen Johannesburg, Nairobi, Cape Town or Durban. I knew some of the girls because on Instagram we chat, you know, but I have not seen their show. So I do not know who they are as a person on the show.
If they are camera fame or they put up behaviour for the cameras. I did not know them. I remember a few weeks before I went to Brazil, the producer from GOATS was saying… She did not tell me who was coming; they just said watch these cities. I am in America, so I cannot watch Showmax in America, so I could only rely on YouTube, which would not really give me much.
I felt like that was the biggest thing for me. Because if not, because a lot of them literally… I think during or after the show, we were talking, and four of them literally said, Mariam, I thought I was going to have a problem with you. They were ready for me because Mariam, we have seen your show, we know what you are capable of, we know your mouth, we know your vibe. I was like, can you imagine? Like, I was just laughing at them. One literally said, Mariam I know I was going to have a problem with you.
You are the person who, when you speak, everybody will listen, and I feel a bit of that, you know, they respect me. You know, I was able to make friends with those girls. These girls would talk, you know, we would gist every other day, do you understand? And the bigger picture is to create friendships, relationships, and long-term relationships from every experience. It does not have to have so much animosity that people expect, and I feel like that was one of the biggest things I took away from that show.
TheCable Lifestyle: You had one other Nigerian cast member, Princess Jecoco from Real Housewives of Abuja. Were you both able to relate to the fact that you are Nigerian?
Mariam: I knew Jenny when I lived in Abuja, but I did not know her personally; I just knew Jecoco. I think the only time I met Jenny was when Real Housewives of Lagos won costume of the year; she and Arafa presented an award, and that was it. So I do not know her on a personal level. I don’t even talk to her. But obviously, we are Nigerians, Naija no dey carry last.
We are not going to be so stupid as to go on a global platform where Africans are being represented, and we will fight each other. Number one, we do not have any beef before. I got to know her as a person, and she is actually a vibe. I would say now we are very cool, we can call each other and just gist. You know, like I even said to her, I said do not worry I have your back. When the show comes out, I know you have not been on TV for a while, you know, they only had one season of Abuja.
So obviously, the fan base must have at least gone down a bit. In my mind, I am like we just have to stay together because we are both Nigerians who are representing the show.
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