So a male friend and I were arguing on a guy’s perspective to cheating and he had some insightful points, which of course is till don’t agree with is the justification to the act, but he did shed some light on what most of us girls have left to our imaginations. So before you begin, first start by asking yourself…
Have you ever cheated on a partner? If not. Have you ever felt the desire to do so? If neither, have you ever been cheated on? Has the opportunity to cheat ever occurred? If so, think back to that moment when you were hatching the plan, fantasizing, and even actually cheating.
You would agree that there’s a certain thrill and excitement associated with doing something inappropriate, something you aren’t meant to do, or rather, something that might most likely land you in a lot of trouble.
Have you had that feeling, which I’m certain 90% of every sane person has had at some point. That is the same thrill you derive from even the mere thoughts of attempting infidelity!
Nowadays, everyone cheats, yet, everyone claims not to. How absurd?
Cheating/Infidelity/Unfaithfulness is only satisfactory and pleasant to the Cheatee, but absolutely painful to the cheated, upon discovery. Cheating damages ‘trust’ in relationships and single-handedly kills numerous unions on a daily basis.
Being cheated on makes you distrustful of everyone and being a cheater makes you think everyone is a cheater. Now, you’d think being aware of this facts would deter people from cheating, but ‘oh boy’, it has had little or no effect whatsoever. People cheat at whim, by reflex, on impulse.
There’s a certain joy derived from cheating. As twisted as this may sound, it does hold water. Humans as specie generally tend to desire the forbidden. We tend to be attracted to that which we should not have and that which we cannot have. The biblical story of Adam and Eve is a perfect example. The other day, I was in the cinema trying to see ‘Django’ for the second time and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation of three girls behind me. One of them was trying to justify her reasons for cheating on her fiancée of 6 years, who she was obviously in love with, and planning to marry soon.
The reasons she gave for the affair was that ‘I just wanted to feel what being with someone else felt like, after all these years of faithfulness’. Her friends couldn’t get it, or probably wouldn’t get it. They went on to chastise her, forgetting that they might be in her shoes someday. Believe me you, when the urge or opportunity to cheat comes, it will take a really disciplined person not to fall.
The man who says he can’t cheat has not been severally tempted. The woman who claims to be faithful has not been tenaciously wooed. Anyone can find himself or herself in the position of the girl at the Cinema who’s probably been faithful to her partner for so long, and now has urges to explore and experiment. She went on and did, and has little or no regret about it, only a hovering cloud of guilt that will most certainly fade away with time.
And a later period, she might be tempted to explore once again. The cycle of clandestine occasional infidelity then ensues, while still maintaining her relationship or marriage as the case may be. She is happy, satisfied, content, yet cheating periodically. What an ironic, yet realistically absurd picture.
Men, on the other hand hardly feel any guilt when sleeping around. We are certified chronic sporadic cheaters who enjoy cheating at whim, by impulse, hell even by reflex.
We enjoy it, we thrive on it.
We live for the challenge beneath the skirts, and embrace it head on as if a conquest. There is hardly a man alive who hasn’t at one point or the other cheated on his partner. It’s like there’s an urge to reach out and spread our immense love to other women, other than the ones we are seeing.
Recently, over drinks and smokes with friends, our conversation drifted to one of our mates who apparently doesn’t smoke, drink nor womanize.
A good-looking full-blooded man who doesn’t partake in any of the three common male vices, must either be a saint or from mars, I opined.
My friends were quick to label him a fraud. They concluded that even if he didn’t smoke nor drink, he would at least womanize, even if occasionally.
Now, this write should not by any means be viewed as encouraging infidelity, or be misconstrued as a pass for cheating. It is rather a realistic articulation of the joy, thrills, euphoria, excitement and pleasure derived from cheating, intending to do it, or even thinking about it.
Truly, men tend to cheat more, maybe as a result of the incessant amounts of temptation we encounter on a daily basis, maybe because of our undisciplined hormones, or simply for the fun of it. Bottom line therefore is that the human being is to an extent wired to want to explore and break new grounds, in order words, cheat and keep cheating.
Whatever reason that pushes one to cheat, there is no justification whatsoever for engaging in the act of cheating, however, it would be hypocritical and untruthful to deny that we don’t enjoy it, even if fleetingly.
To cheat or not to cheat, I believe depends on one’s personal disposition. Believe it or not, people cheat in relationships, unions and marriages, and they mostly enjoy it.
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