You may be wondering, ‘wasn’t it just yesterday my spouse was all over me?’Why then, does it feel like our marriage has lost everything that made it fun?
If the above paragraph describes your marriage, it’s possible that you’re uncomfortable and unhappy with the turn your relationship has taken. This is quite a common feeling.
It’s only human to feel dissatisfied when a once bubbling relationship grows cold, bland, and uninteresting. Your spouse seems to be a different person; they no longer listen attentively when you’re talking about your day, they make excuses not to spend time with you, and maybe worse case scenerio, the sex isn’t as good as it used to be.
To make matters worse, you may have tried (maybe with the help of your partner) to make amends in your marriage to no success.
So what could be the cause? Why does your partner not seem to be as interested in you as before?
- You’re Simply Boring
Some offense meant, but you may simply be boring after all. And this is not something to feel blue about.
This may be attributed to a lot of things but some common examples could be; your lifestyle choices.
Therefore, your spouse may find it difficult keeping up with your lifestyle despite their efforts to be tolerant. The antidote to being boring might be as simple as changing simple bits of your habits or as complicated as substituting your lifestyle to add more colour to your personality.
- Their Interests Have Changed
In this case, there’s not so much you can do. Your spouse (whom you may have shared similar interests with), has outgrown or dropped those interests for new ones.
Your unavailability or inability to bounce on their new-interest wagon could cost you two the spice in your relationship.
However, do not feel bad about this. Should your partner really care about you, they’ll do whatever it takes to introduce you to their new interests so that you may be on the same page with them. Compromises can be fulfilled between both of you by adopting a percentage (or all) of each other’s interests. This way, you can both have enough ground for interactions.
- They May Be Stressed
People interpret being stressed out in various ways. For some, it could be a mental breakdown, for others, it could be finding their most valuable relationships or routines (including you), uninteresting.
If this is the case for your partner, get them to relax. Remind them that they are loved no matter what and in severe cases, book them with a highly-recommended therapist while also encouraging them to attend these sessions.
As much as you may be hurt by their behaviour, (or lack of it), be reasonable in handling your feelings objectively.
- Mid-Life Crisis
Just like stress, some couples may unfortunately, experience their spouse’s ‘going off a cliff’. Your spouse’s behaviour towards you might suggest they are uninterested in you but this may not be the case.
Should you notice an abnormality in their overall behaviour, especially to habitual activities, your partner could well be going through difficult times.
Gently probe your partner, into disclosing their feelings. This way, you may be lucky to hear from the horse’s mouth, what is true or not. Remember that this could become a long process and would need your patience.
- Mundane Habits
While it’s true that certain factors such as stress could make daily activities seem boring, the truth is that some activities are actually, really boring. Avoid them.
Know your partner’s taste and avoid roping them into activities they disapprove or complain about. In the short term, they might do these activities, but in the long term, they could hate you for it.
Try to let loose on activities or interests of liking which your partner may not be a huge fan of.
- They May Be Interested In Someone Else
Yup. that’s another reason. In this case, it’s important to be sure this is actually the reason. This means you have to do away with assumptions and actually be sure of the facts.
The only way to find out the truth is by confronting your partner. Otherwise, do away with what you ‘suspect’ to be true.
Should your spouse confirm being interested in someone else, take the discussion further. By being interested in this person, was it based on a platonic or romantic relationship? Should the latter be the case, are you willing to forgive your spouse or would you rather end things? These questions and many more are important matters to be discussed with your spouse.
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