Five online dating tips from a single Nigerian

Online dating is becoming become the new norm. Personally, I do not think what we call online dating in Nigeria is the same as the global definition of the term. While the global term for online dating usually means signing up on a digital dating platform to meet other signees, I do not see it as the case over here.

For the purpose of this article, let’s define online dating as connecting with dates online whether intentionally or unintentionally. So, for instance, a guy sliding into a lady’s DM on Instagram to shoot his shot, and a babe who signs up on a dating site to meet guys are examples of online dating.

Phew! Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get into five tips I have coined for an amazing online dating experience.

• Have a physical list of what you’re looking for in a relationship

I usually advise that people looking to date have at least a rough sketch (not just an idea) of the kind of person they are looking forward to dating. It’s not enough to just say, “oh, I have an idea of the kind of guy I person I want to date”. Pen those “ideas” down to get a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you’re looking for.

You may want to categorise your preferences. An example of such categories could be physical, mental, spiritual or others. Of course, please do not confine yourself to the examples that I have just given. At the end of the day, you know yourself best and can determine best what you’re looking for.

• Keep an open mind

You know that quote that advises us not to “put all of your eggs in one basket?” That’s some wisdom you may want to borrow from when dating online. Keep your “specs” to physical dating but have an open mind when dating online if you want to survive those streets.

It is important to be open-minded when dating online as anything could happen. People aren’t usually as they seem online and it’s even possible you could connect with a seemingly nice person online, only to discover they’re horrible in person.

Of course, this is just an example but online dating is perhaps the most unpredictable of all kinds of dating. (Wait, are there other kinds of dating asides from online and physical? Please let us know in the comments).

It’s cool if you’re naturally guarded. Unshell gradually, and just go with the flow.

• Speak to them online before attempting a physical date

When I said, ‘go with the flow” earlier, I didn’t mean to abandon all care to the wind. You would be hurt out there, so you have to be wise as well.

I personally think that before setting up a physical date with anyone you meet online, first have some conversation with them online. Whether it’s a phone call or text. Just test the waters first before diving in.

And this isn’t only because of the one million and one bad things that could happen when you go on a physical date with someone you’ve never spoken to. What if you both have no conversational compatibility? What if they have different ideologies and worldviews (which either of you cannot tolerate)? What if they’re a serial killer on a mission to get some kill? (What?! Don’t you watch horror movies?)

Not to sound so dramatic, I guess you get my point. Okay, moving on.

• Don’t be discouraged by bad dates

And we’re here. Yeah, this one dey pain sha. Imagine discovering that a person you’re hoping is into you couldn’t care less about you.

We’ve probably experienced (or heard about people’s experience) unread messages. Not to worry if a potential date isn’t responding to your messages or is playing “hide and seek”. Remember to keep an open mind and just do your thing.

• Have an accountability partner

I’ll shake a table to explain this point. Do you know those people who start dating someone and cut off all communication with the people in their lives just to focus on that one person? Yeah! That doesn’t ever end well.

Having an accountability partner; whether it’s a friend (or friends), relative, someone you can trust is the best way to stay balanced while trying out online dating. You’d need to confide your boundaries, expectations, from a relationship to your accountability partner. This way, they can always check in to know if you’re in check with the decisions you have earlier made to guide your relationships.

Please do try out these tips at your discretion. I’m not a relationship coach o. Just a single Nigerian babe trying to make some extra cash creating content. If I misyarned at some point please let me know in the comments.