Betty Irabor, the publisher and founder of Genevieve Magazine, has shared a personal story about humility, love and forgiveness in marriage.
In an Instagram post, the author reflected on a moment of conflict with her husband Soni Irabor, revealing how pride almost got in the way of peace in their home.
The 68-year-old writer said during a heated argument, she stormed out of their bedroom in anger, but was suddenly convicted by “the Holy Spirit”.
According toBetty, she initially resisted the urge to apologise but could not shake off the conviction. When she returned to make amends, her husband asked her to leave; a reaction that left her feeling even more remorseful.
“Pride must never speak louder than love. This morning I found myself reflecting on that day I banged the door on my husband after one of those inconsequential tiffs—you know, the kind where we put our mouths in gear 5 and just go wielding… and then suddenly you’re like, Oops! Did I really say that?” she wrote.
“As I stormed out of our bedroom in blind rage that morning, the Holy Spirit arrested me right there at the door: ‘Clap for yourself, Betty! You must be very proud of the disrespect you just showed your husband. Now go back and apologize’. The voice was clear and loud!
“I froze. Apologise? Me? But conviction wouldn’t let me be. I turned right back to the room—only to be chased out. Ah! I didn’t expect that, but I deserved it. My heart was heavy the entire day; peace eluded me.”
She added that later that evening, she found him laughing at a movie and went on her knees as she tried apologising again. She said he, however, showed kindness, asking her to stand because of constant knee aches.
The media entrepreneur described the gesture as a moment of wisdom and grace that taught her the true essence of love and peace in marriage.
She also urged couples to avoid exploiting their spouse’s good nature and to prioritise peace over ego.
“Later that evening, I heard him chuckling at a movie, and I knew it was time. Humbled and sober, I approached him. My knees may have been weak from aches, but I still went down on them in utmost remorse and said ‘Soni, I’m sorry. Please forgive me,’” she added.
“Guess what my husband did? Hmmm! He reached out to help me up, saying with urgency in his voice, ‘Ah, Betty, get up, get up, remember your knees—you’ll hurt them’. I was moved to tears by the compassion in his voice. It wasn’t the reaction I expected.
“I thought he would chase me away again but he was more concerned about my knees than my offense. He didn’t exploit the situation! That broke me. But then that’s my husband for you—kindness and compassion personified.
“The truth is, knowing when to retreat or surrender in a marital dispute is not a sign of weakness — it’s wisdom. It’s the understanding that peace is more valuable than being right. That sometimes love whispers, ‘Let it go’ even when pride wants the last word.
“We must never exploit our spouse’s good nature. Pride must never speak louder than love. You see, marriage isn’t about who wins an argument; it’s about who guards the peace.”
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Betty and Soni married in 1982 and have two children, Sonia and Rotimi.
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