7 secret addictions of ‘unsuccessful’ women

BY EKOM LAWRENCE ATTAI

When I was growing up, my dad would always say: “Too much of everything is not good even if it’s a good thing.” Very true!

Many women are today struggling really hard to break some annoying addictions that get in between their work and family life.

Addictions are negative traits with a positive front. They make you feel like your existence would be bleak and meaningless; without them. The scary part is that some addictions are almost impossible to break, though good habits can always replace bad ones.

A lot of women are plagued with different types of secret addictions, some of which are more dangerous than others. Some threaten to take over their lives completely and the women are not even aware of what is going on.

Let’s take a look at a few of them.

THE SWEET TOOTH

Many of us gals have succumbed to this delicious foe. We can’t help it; we are drawn by their attractive presentations. I am talking about the tempting icing on the cake, the excessively sweet soda drinks, oily French fries, doughnuts and of course, my favourite, ice-cream. We just can’t stop eating the unhealthy meal, even when we’ve noticed a few extra pounds around our waists. Then we start complaining about how we can’t fit into that gorgeous gown or how we look older than our friends. In the end, those who fall prey to this addiction end up feeling unhappy and don’t even know why.

If you have a sweet tooth, switch over to apples, banana, watermelon and other fresh fruits for more than enough natural sugars to massage your tooth. The rich nutrients and fibre in fresh fruits will be an added bonus for your health.

COVETOUSNESS

Some women can’t help comparing themselves with other women and wanting what another woman has. It could be her shoes, her bag, her clothes or even the way she talks. They want to live in her house or have her kind of job. The urge could be so strong that they get that green feeling even when they don’t have to. Their cars could even be more expensive than the ones they covet, yet they still can’t get their eyes off the coveted objects.

The way to handle covetousness is just to grow up. Realise that you cannot and you don’t need to have everything before your joy is full. The weapon with which to shove covetousness out of your life is contentment.

NIT-PICKING

Have you ever wondered why a friend of yours constantly criticises you and everyone around her without any provocation? She doesn’t give you any breathing space but criticises the way you style your hair, how you look while crying, your choice of names for your children and so on. The painful part is when you point out her constant fault-finding and she looks shocked and claims to have no idea about it.

Healing for this addiction comes with a conscious effort to think before you speak and to carefully consider upfront how your actions would affect others.

MIRROR ON THE WALL

This is when you are so obsessed about your appearance that you can’t help looking in the mirror even when you don’t have to. It doesn’t matter where you are, who you are or what you’re doing: you just can’t help it. I’ve actually wondered at women who stared at themselves whenever they went past a parked vehicle or a reflective door. I can tell that they don’t even realise they are doing it and that there could be people inside the vehicle or in the store looking on.

What you need is the “truth” so that you can walk past reflective surfaces without stopping to check yourself out again. Just tell yourself, I am okay, which is the truth!

Remind yourself, too, that someone to whom you really matter wouldn’t tell you “I’m no longer your friend” because a vehicle splashed mud on your dress. If he does, then he really didn’t belong in your life in the first place.

ONYCHOPHAGIA

This is compulsive nail biting.

A woman may not even realise that she has bitten off a sizeable part of her nails until she’s about to shake hands with business associates and feels so embarrassed about it. Women like these are often shy about meeting new people or showing off their wedding rings. Manicures are out of the question for such women because the manicures will inevitably be ruined.

A brilliant way to deal with this addiction is to chew a carrot instead.

GOSSIPING

Talking about other people’s business is the hobby here. You wake up every morning wondering if your neighbour’s marriage would last and go to bed discussing your colleague’s choice of clothes. The highlight of your day is analysing others negatively with your friends. In fact, your day isn’t complete without a little gossip and a cup of tea.

The way around this secret addiction is to remind yourself about the evergreen words of the American first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of president Franklin D. Roosevelt. She said: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”

You wouldn’t want people to think that you’re a small mind, would you?

SWEET DREAMS

This is probably one of the sweetest secret addictions, as its addicts don’t even realise that they’ve been ensnared. It makes them miss important appointments and commitments. Its addicts don’t feel comfortable until they’ve slept for 12 hours or more and they wake up feeling tired and groggy and wondering what went wrong.

If you want to beat the sleeping bug just be reminded about Proverbs 6:9 – “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?”

These are but a few secret addictions, but if you find yourself in any of these categories, fear not. The situation isn’t helpless. All you have to do is to focus on the positive habit to replace it with.

Cheers!

Ekom Lawrence Attai is an undergraduate student of International Relations at Landmark University, Omu-Aran, Kwara state, Nigeria.