BY TOBI YUSUF
Jamela loves Jalil so much she can do just about anything for him. She is also bold and quick to declare her love no matter where she finds herself. Jalil, on the other hand, can hardly be caught telling her how he feels.
This was a major issue in the first few years of their marriage. To make matters worse, Jamela has a bit of insecurity and would always nag Jalil into saying the three harmless words. He yielded on many occasions, but Jamela soon got tired of being the first one to initiate something that should be natural.
Two years into their marriage, and the problem persisted. They both went for counselling and sought the help of friends and family alike. Then one day, the scales fell.
Jalil had almost got run over by a speeding motorbike in a bid to get Jamela off its path. When he landed on his back, Jamela was stunned to speechlessness because she hadn’t noticed him crossing the road to the salon. There and then, she needed no soothsayer to tell her that she was deeply loved.
What had happened was Jalil had decided to get his wife some refreshments the moment she had called to inform him that she’d be staying longer than expected at the salon.
He was just about handing her the package when he sighted the drunk rider from across the road attempting to kill the love of his life. His tender touch despite being hurt by the fall, the concern in his eyes and voice gave Jamela the assurance she had been looking for in words but hardly got, so much that she had decided to quietly leave the marriage soon.
All at once she saw Jamil’s love revealed, even though it wasn’t through the verbal means she preferred and had always insisted on. Jamela had failed to recognize her husband’s love language, which is acts of service.
As Gary Chapman described in his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, romantic partners show love to each other through five major ways: acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gifts.
While not everyone would rush to take bullets or be run down by a vehicle for their significant other, there is a distinct way each person shows their affection and wants to receive affection. Some individuals prefer you touch them, look at them, reassure them, while others prefer you declare your undying love to them verbally daily. Whatever it is, understand that there is no one way to show love.
Don’t set rigid standards of how your partner must show you love, rather allow your partner to do it their own way.
My closing words on this is to urge you to be more deliberate to know what your partner is comfortable with and to, if not accept them totally, at least meet them halfway. This would help you communicate the great bond of love you share effectively.
Tobi Yusuf, the founder of RIAH Events and Weddings, a Relationship Mentor and the convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.
Copyright 2025 TheCable. All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from TheCable.
Follow us on twitter @Thecablestyle