Us against the world — fact or fallacy?

BY TOBI YUSUF

At the beginning of 2018, Kylie declared that the year must be her year of marital settlement, and she threw herself zealously into praying and fasting concerning her heart’s desire. Not long afterwards, she met West and fell headlong in love with him. She did everything that West required of her, believing that he loved her as much as she did. It soon became clear that the love was not entirely reciprocal, but Kylie did not mind. She shut out her friends, reasoning that if it was “West and her against the world,” then everything would be fine.

Half a year in their beautiful union, trouble began, as is common for many relationships. That was when Kylie began to rethink her choices. Was she right to have turned her back on ALL her friends? Was it possible to have one or two of them back? What would they think of her? Will it seem weak of her? She continued to rack her head with the numerous stabbing questions floating in them.

Kylie’s case is not unique. I have seen/heard, as I am sure that you have, several cases of this nature. Maybe you are even at the point that she is right now. That is why I will be sharing my two cents on this issue today.

Is it okay to turn your back on friendships that you’ve kept before your partner/spouse came along? If you have, how good has this decision been?

In my opinion, I think it is safe to have one or two trusted people you can call friends, no matter how much you value your marital relationship. If two will chase a thousand, think of how much more than two can chase. As a matter of fact, there will be times that we have to rely on the strength and prayers of friends and families in our marriages/relationships. How would you access this strength and prayers if you burned the bridges just because you found love?

Do you also know that having neutral friends outside of your marriage/relationship helps with handling boredom? No, you will not always get the excitement you need from your partner. This is why you need a gist partner that your partner knows how to avoid suspicion and jealousy and encourage accountability. In fact, this helps you spice up your relationship as you get to go on field trips, date nights, or even do business together with or without your spouse/partner.

If one half of a couple isolates his/her partner from others, it’s a telltale sign of manipulative tendencies, as numerous real-life stories have proven. Someone who removes everyone that matters to you from your life just because they feel “threatened” by them (especially if this is not the case) may have gory plans for your life.

I love “love” and I believe strongly in the power of unity of a couple because they can achieve anything they want this way. But the moment you isolate somebody, I stop believing you have good intentions for them. Us against the world is good, but us with the world is much better because “we get a good reward four our labour”.

Would love to read your view on this topic.

Tobi Yusuf, founder of RIAH Events & Weddings, Relationship Mentor, convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.