Toolz: Losing my dad shortly after miscarriage my most traumatic experience

Tolu Oniru-Demuren, Nigerian on-air personality better known as Toolz, says losing her father not long after she had a miscarriage was her most traumatic experience.

The talk show host spoke when she appeared on the latest of episode of #WithChude, a series by Chude Jideonwo.

Toolz recalled feeling lost at the time, noting that it was her spirituality that enabled her to deal with the situation.

“… you know after losing my first pregnancy, not long after that I lost my dad, it was and perhaps is still the most traumatic thing that has ever happened and I remember I had like one or two out of body experiences because I could not believe I was going through this, I literally could not believe this was happening to me,” she said.

“I still think back and I don’t even know how I got through it, my spirituality was extremely important during that period.

“I don’t always like talking about it… I just remember going through it and feeling lost, so so incredibly lost and I used to be online all the time looking for women that had similar experiences.”

She added that her experience during the period showed many Nigerian women battling the same thing hardly open up on their struggles.

The mother of two said her resolve to share her story was to encourage those going through similar experiences as many often resort to blaming themselves.

“A lot of women go through it but they don’t usually talk about it. My mom went through it but she doesn’t like talking about it, she rarely talks about it,” she added.

“I just remembered going online, looking for information, trying to find somebody that had gone through the exact same thing; What happened? How did they continue? How did they get back to normal? And I didn’t find a lot.

“I found a few but I didn’t find a lot of Nigerian women that talked about it. So when I think about that I know that somebody is gonna be watching that is going through something like that, I think it’s so important for me to just say ‘look, it’s not your fault it’s not always in our control but you get through it’. I mean look at me, I got two boys now.”