Toke Makinwa: Religion, tradition have failed us… divorce isn’t a disease

Toke Makinwa, Nigerian media personality, says religion and African traditions have failed couples in that they see divorce as a disease while preaching “till death do you part” gospels.

In January, a federal capital territory (FCT) high court had sentenced Maryam Sanda, a Nigerian woman convicted of killing her husband, to death by hanging.

Sanda was said to have stabbed her husband over alleged infidelity, although she had claimed that he died when he fell on a broken piece of “shisha” pot during their argument.

Makinwa, while addressing the issue in a recent episode of her vlog, faulted religion and African traditions for not preaching divorce enough, describing herself as a fan of separation marriages.

“The only sanity you can guarantee is yours. Tradition has failed us. Social pressure has failed us. Religion has failed us. Everyone believes that this ‘till death do you part’ really means till you both die,” she said.

“Everyone who gets married wants to stay married forever. But there are some cases where these things are not just what they seem. You might plan to love someone for the rest of your life.

“But, along the line, things change and you guys don’t necessarily feel the same way. People should look at divorce as not a disease. Even before you divorce, let’s talk about separation.

“Why don’t we preach separation enough? If things are not working, it’s okay for you guys to go your separate ways and try to access things from that end. I’m a big fan of separation.”

In 2014, the author married Maje Ayida, whom she had dated for close to eight years but separated from him a year later after discovering that he had impregnated his ex-girlfriend.

Urging couples to be more open about their marriage problems rather than bottle up the tension until it results in life-threatening situations, the media personality added that divorce isn’t the end.

“I know you guys are always saying ‘Why is she even talking about marriage when she couldn’t even keep her marriage?’. Get over yourselves. People should be more open about how they feel,” she said.

“Religious outfits put people under pressure to stay together when they see that it’s not working. Dumb shits keep happening.  All that ‘God hates divorce.’ How about ‘God hates miserable people?’

“Tell your parents that you want to see a shrink and they’ll rather take you to church or through the routes of tradition and religious practices that should, as far as I’m concerned, should be abolished.

“Not everything is someone attacking you from the village. Not everything is a satanic attack. People need to stop this ‘Satan is attacking your marriage.’ There’s no shit like that.”