Six wrong reasons to get into a relationship

Being in love is a natural human desire, as it brings joy, companionship, and support. However, not all motivations for going into a relationship are healthy or sustainable.

So it is important to be mindful of the reason you are in a relationship. Being in a relationship for the wrong reasons can lead to dissatisfaction, emotional turmoil, and long-term damage.

Here are some reasons you should not get into a relationship, they are wrong.

• Loneliness

Loneliness is a natural human emotion. So it is normal to feel alone at some point in your life particularly periods that are not rosy.

However, it is wrong and unhealthy to get into a relationship to curtail loneliness.

Aside from leading to an unhealthy relationship, it can also cloud your decision when choosing your partner and make you settle for someone who may not be right for you.

You can be lucky to have the right person but your motive of being in the relationship will put undue pressure on your partner. Your partner will be pressured to always be your sole source of happiness and fulfillment — even during their tiring time.

So instead of seeking a romantic relationship when lonely, find ways to cope. Spend more time with family, self-care, and bring back your hobbies, you can also seek professional help if it gets overwhelming.

• Seeking validation

People with low self-esteem might be in a relationship to feel validated, loved, and better about themselves.

However, seeking external affirmation to compensate for your internal feelings of inadequacy is not the right thing to do.

Entering a relationship for validation can lead to an unhealthy dynamic characterized by insecurity and jealousy.

A relationship cannot boost your self-esteem as you might think; instead, it can exacerbate feelings of dependency and low self-worth.

So it’s important to work on yourself before entering a relationship. Engage in activities that help boost your confidence, self-worth, and esteem.

Remember, you are worthy of love. Love yourself first, and you will enjoy the beauty of a healthy relationship.

• Societal pressure

The pressure from family, friends, and society can be misleading when trying to get into a relationship.

Going by the pressure and getting into a relationship can cause you to be in a relationship that lacks genuine emotional connection and is unfulfilling.

Rather, recognise and resist societal pressures — it is hard but you have to. Reflect on what you genuinely want in a partner and relationship, independent of external expectations.

It is important to prioritise your happiness over societal norms, pressure and expectations.

• Financial gain

Being financially stable is quite important but dating someone solely for their financial resources can lead to a transactional and unfulfilling relationship.

Relationships based on financial value mostly lack emotional depth, genuine love, and mutual respect.

Try not to make your relationship choice based on economic needs. Prioritise emotional connection, respect, and companionship instead.

• Rebound from a previous relationship

Attempting to incite jealousy/ seek revenge by getting into a new relationship is a wrong reason to be in one.

Sometimes, some people also get into a relationship to be distracted from the pain of a breakup.

However, getting into a new relationship too soon can prevent proper healing and reflection, leading to unresolved issues being carried into the new relationship.

The relationship can also be rooted in negativity and continue the cycle of hurt and resentment.

Allow yourself time to grieve and heal after a breakup. Reflect on what went wrong in the previous relationship and what you need in a future partner.

Also, engage in self-care and personal growth activities. Get into a relationship again, when you feel emotionally ready and clear about your needs.

• Sexual attraction

While sexual attraction is important, it should not be the sole reason for getting into a relationship.

A relationship based primarily on physical chemistry can lead to disappointment, unsustainability, or unfulfillment long-term as the initial passion fades.

In addition to physical attraction, it is important to have a strong foundation of trust, communication, and compatibility in your relationship.

It is essential to reflect on your motivations and ensure they align with genuine desires for companionship, mutual respect, and emotional connection.

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual understanding, shared values, and personal growth, not on fear, pressure, or dependency.