BDSM is about the most searched for word today in Nigeria. Why? Because too many eager people are out there yearning to relate with the newly released, recently banned erotica movie, 50 Shades of Grey.

BDSM means Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. The book-turned-movie details all about the practice of this during sexual intercourse. Those of you who were able to watch it before the movie got banned would attest to the extremity to which the couple, Christian Grey and Anna, went through to have pleasurable sex.

BDSM is a form of sexual pleasure which is derived from the infliction of pain. Most would describe it as pain in ecstasy or ecstasy in pain – the latter being the most effective and useful in this context.

The process is that when pain is inflicted during sex, it sends a certain signal to the brain which in turn translates it into pleasure.

Now a lot of Nigerians would cringe at the thought of this and be too quick to throw stones should it be mentioned, while hiding behind ethics and moral as well as culture.

But little do they know that in your own little way, you practise the same. If you do these basic steps during sexual intercourse, then you practise BDSM.

Spanking. This is a common basic form of BDSM. A lot of people like to either spank or get spanked during sexual intercourse. Spanking has no gender preference; both men and women practise and enjoy the act.

Choking. Yes, most people do this during sexual intercourse. The actual process of choking which is literally holding one’s neck down in such a way that you restrict her breathing partially brings pleasure for both the giver and the recipient.

Pulling her hair. This is also a common type of a basic BDSM. It involves the two in a doggy style sex position where he rides her from behind while pulling her hair like a man would with a horse straddle. He feels like he is in control at that point and she enjoys being his slave.

Hickeys. Hickeys aren’t so common but aren’t rare either. It involves inflicting pain through bites. Any part of the body is used for this method but the most commonly used is the neck.

Anal. Anal is also a basic form of BDSM and it is so because the process of sexual intercourse via the anus is painful. It is so because the anal organ doesn’t get expandable like the vagina, hence the intense pain.

Positions. Most sexual positions are directly for BDSM. Doggy styles, using her as your pet, can also be “torture”. Most pets generally are on four feet so you know where I’m going with this. She gets on her four feet and serves as your pet and she abides to your biddings knowing that any deterrence comes with a punishment; just as the animals get it.

Take note, BDSM is most importantly a consensual act between two people having sexual intercourse. One-sided pleasure is known as sexual machismo disorder and shouldn’t be condoned. So if you’re going through this and you aren’t into all the methods mentioned above, please talk to someone about it as soon as you can.

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