When I got engaged, I was overjoyed. I was immersed in a whirlwind of wedding planning, magazines, honeymoon dreams, and imagining the cosy home we’d one day share. But amid the blissful chaos, one evening changed everything.
As I scrolled through a comprehensive marriage checklist, I paused and asked my partner, “Have you thought about our financial goals and how we’ll handle money as a married couple?”
That simple yet profound question sparked a dialogue that would become one of the most essential parts of our journey. Before I walked down the aisle and said “I do,” I made it a priority to ask five critical questions that laid the groundwork for our financial compatibility and future stability:
What are your financial goals for our future together? This question opened the door to envisioning our shared future: buying a home, building savings, investing for retirement, and even setting up travel funds.
Understanding our long-term financial aspirations helped us create a roadmap for our life together.
How do you feel about saving, spending, and debt? Everyone has a money mindset shaped by upbringing and experience. Discussing our attitudes toward money helped us identify habits that needed adjustment and values that we wanted to reinforce.
Should we combine our finances, keep them separate, or mix both? Merging finances is a personal decision with no one-size-fits-all answer. For us, exploring hybrid models that allowed us to maintain individual accounts for personal freedom while creating a joint account for shared expenses struck the perfect balance.
How will we handle financial disagreements or unexpected expenses? Disagreements are inevitable, but planning ahead can reduce conflict. We established a rule: always communicate openly, avoid blame, and create a monthly budget meeting to review goals, track spending, and adjust strategies together.
What role does money play in your idea of a happy marriage? This was the most emotional question. For us, financial harmony meant peace of mind, mutual respect, and the freedom to pursue our passions without unnecessary stress. It became clear that money was more than just numbers; it was a tool to build our dream life together.
These candid conversations weren’t always easy. They required honesty, vulnerability, and a willingness to listen. However, they brought us closer, strengthened our bond, and laid the foundation for a resilient and financially secure partnership.
Discussing finances before marriage isn’t just smart, it’s essential. Financial planning in marriage helps couples align their priorities, build trust, and avoid future conflict. Whether you’re newly engaged or already navigating married life, taking the time to discuss your financial future can be one of the most empowering steps you take.
Remember: Marriage is a partnership, and like any strong team, it thrives on communication, shared goals, and mutual support. Talk now, plan wisely, and thrive together later.
You can visit www.marriageandmoney.com.ng to learn more about money questions.
Adetutu Afolabi is a Personal Freedom Coach helping families build wealth through aligned values and intentional living. She believes strong relationships are key to lasting financial freedom
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