For years, I carried my marriage like a full-time job with no breaks, no leave, and definitely no help. I believed being a good wife and mother meant controlling everything: the money, the children, the direction of our future, even my husband’s decisions. I told myself that if I didn’t hold it all together, everything would fall apart. And so, I wore that responsibility like a crown, strong on the outside, but silently crumbling on the inside.
I became the planner, the fixer, the worrier. I tracked every expense, managed every routine, and made every plan. I wanted to protect what we had built. But instead, I started micromanaging everyone and everything. I called it love, and I thought I was being responsible. But underneath it all… was fear. Fear of losing control, fear of failure, fear of not being enough.
Then one day, in the quiet of my overwhelmed heart, I heard God whisper, “You’re not the owner, you’re the steward.” And just like that, everything shifted. That truth struck something profound in me. We come into this world with nothing. We spend our lives chasing possessions, people, and plans we can’t truly own. And in the end, we leave it all behind.
In that moment, my eyes opened. My husband? Not mine to fix. My children? Not mine to control. Our money and future? Not mine to obsess over. Everything I held so tightly had only been entrusted to me, not given to possess. Now I know: I’m a caretaker. And I need to trust God for the grace to care on His behalf.
That realisation broke me. I wept. But in that brokenness came healing. I stopped gripping. I stopped trying to be the saviour of my home. I began to trust God again, not just with my heart, but with everything I had tried to manage alone. I opened my hands. I surrendered my fear. I started leading with love, not control. I embraced peace over pressure. Faith over force. Surrender over striving.
If you’re carrying the full weight of marriage, parenthood, and money, battling silently while the world expects strength, know this: You were never meant to do it all alone. There is so much power in letting go, and there is peace in surrender.
Visit marriageandmoney.com.ng for tools, resources, and practical guides to help you and your spouse plan together, grow together, and win together.
Adetutu Afolabi is a Personal Freedom Coach helping families build wealth through aligned values and intentional living. She believes strong relationships are key to lasting financial freedom
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