BY ADETUTU AFOLABI
“The moment I realized I was in love, my next thought was money because love and money are five and six.”
That was my honest-to-God thought. Not because I’m materialistic, but because I understood something many people overlook: lasting love isn’t just about butterflies and date nights.
It’s about credit scores, budgets, and shared vision. A relationship can’t run on vibes alone; it needs structure, honesty, and financial fluency.
Our first real money conversation came with nervous laughter and an awkward “So… how much do you earn?” But we didn’t stop there.
We started building our financial IQ together. We read books, joined webinars, and asked financially wise couples how they made it work.
We weren’t naïve: love is powerful, but love without financial intelligence is like a car without fuel. Beautiful to behold, but going nowhere fast.
We made a conscious decision early on: to build a strong financial foundation before walking down the aisle.
Why financial intelligence matters in relationships
Money is one of the top causes of conflict in marriage, not because people don’t love each other, but because they bring different money mindsets to the table. Some of us grew up with shouting matches over bills.
Others with silent tension that hung in the air like unpaid rent. If you don’t unpack those experiences, they’ll resurface, usually at the worst time.
That’s where books like Rich Dad, Poor Dad and The Richest Man in Babylon helped us. They weren’t just personal finance books; they were mindset resetters.
Kiyosaki’s “Rich Dad Poor Dad” taught us that wealth isn’t about how much you earn but how much you keep, invest, and grow. It challenged how we thought about jobs, assets, and money habits.
Meanwhile, Clason’s The Richest Man in Babylon distilled timeless financial wisdom into easy-to-follow principles, such as “pay yourself first” and “make your gold multiply.”
These ideas became part of our everyday language as a couple.
Financial intelligence, we realized, is more than budgeting apps and investment tips. It’s about values, discipline, and shared goals.
Four money conversations every couple should have before marriage
Think asking about money is nosy? Think again, it’s necessary. Start with these:
- Income & debt: What do we earn? What do we owe?
- Spending habits: Are we savers, spenders, or somewhere in between?
- Financial goals: House? Kids? Travel? Retirement? What’s our plan?
- Boundaries: Joint accounts, separate accounts, or a mix?
These talks are like mapping the GPS before a road trip. They don’t kill romance; they fuel it. They build trust.
We treated financial learning like relationship maintenance. It wasn’t a one-off seminar. It became part of our rhythm.
Love is the fire, money is the fuel
Love and money aren’t rivals; they’re partners. Love provides the spark, but money sustains the flame.
Financial intelligence doesn’t cheapen a relationship; it strengthens it.
If you’re in love, don’t avoid the money talk.
Don’t assume romance alone will carry you through financial storms. Build your relationship like a home with a solid foundation.
And in this home, love and money don’t live in separate rooms; they grow together under one roof.
Adetutu Afolabi is a Personal Freedom Coach helping families build wealth through aligned values and intentional living. She believes strong relationships are key to lasting financial freedom.
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