Cultivating a secret relationship may be fun and full of thrills in the beginning.


You go on dates to places you’re most likely unknown, you don’t save their number or you save with fake names on your phone to avoid suspicion.

You enjoy the games and the clandestine nature of the romance, however, after a while, you begin to reassess the situation and ask yourself why you have kept the relationship from people.

You begin to wonder if you’re doing the right thing, and reservations start to creep in.


Here’s why you’re feeling that way.

It is not good for your wellbeing

Keeping a relationship you can’t tell people about means you’re not proud of your partner or you’re just in the relationship for the fun of it.


If that’s what both of you want, then carry on – but if not, it might have an effect on your wellbeing.

You are cautious not to allow people see your chats and you can’t pick their calls when you are around mutual friends.

You get jealous when they are with the opposite sex and you can’t show it because people don’t know you are dating.

This keeps your hormones active as you don’t want to be caught.


It can affect your relationship with others when they find out

It would be a messy spectacle when your friends find out that you’ve been dating someone you’ve always said you weren’t interested in.

The longer you keep the relationship secret, the more likely it is that your loved ones would get hurt/betrayed when they discover the truth.

It can make you feel bad about yourself


Just as it affects your wellbeing, psychologists say keeping a secret love affair can make you question your self worth.

You get paranoid, insecure and most times fearful, which could further lead to separation from those who care deeply about you.

You may be going against your values and principles

Beyond feeling bad about yourself, you might be compromising your values – especially if it was the idea of your partner to keep the relationship private.


It can damage the future of the relationship

Since it is a secret relationship, there is a limit to the public display of affection, the intimacy might be curtailed and this could ruin the relationship.

What a secret relationship also means is that you can keep big secrets from your partner as you’ve both effortlessly kept the love affair from people.

A relationship where partners keep secrets from each other can’t go far not to talk of thriving.

Know what you want.

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