I and my sister don’t get along. We have ugly fights, she messages my fiance and friends mean things about me, and provokes me too. Can I cut her off?
First, as our people say, there’s no smoke without fire. It seems like a lot more is going on beneath the surface. For her to get physical and even involve your fiance and friends, she must be deeply hurt. Have you talked to your sister? Is there any way she feels you may have wronged her, real or imagined? If that is the case, earnest dialogue and an apology could be the first step in mending fences.
Now, if you’ve tried talking to her and it’s obvious she’s just being toxic, you have every right to cut her off. Blood may be thicker than water, but when a liquid is too thick, it makes it hard for you to swim and you end up drowning.
With your mental and physical health, it’s sometimes preferable to cut your losses and walk away.
It’s a hard path to take, I know.
But you’ll be giving yourself the space you need to heal from previous abuse while also protecting yourself from further manipulation and harm by establishing that boundary.
It will, however, come at a price. You will have a difficult time grieving. It’s difficult to grieve for living people, especially when not seeing them is a relief. It’s difficult to mourn for what could have been; for the gaping hole where she should have been.
It can take a long time.
Do what you need to do in order to live a happy life. Expect it to be difficult, but use the liberties you’ve granted yourself to achieve healing and serenity.
Also, don’t shut the door on her completely. She may just come back to you.
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