BY TOBI YUSUF
This week, I did something small but meaningful. I handled the school run all by myself from Monday to Friday. Dropped the children off, picked them up, managed the little in-betweens. And I didn’t do it because my husband wasn’t around, or because he refused to help; I simply chose to.
You see, my husband has been working non-stop lately: long days, back-to-back commitments. And though I’ve been working too, I recognised that his load was heavier this week. So I made a conscious decision: to choose peace over comparison.
It would have been easy to say, “It’s his job too. Why isn’t he helping?” or to focus on how tired I was. But I decided not to. Instead, I looked at the bigger picture — not through the lens of fairness, but through the eyes of love and understanding.
In marriage, there will always be moments when one person seems to be doing more. It’s not always about equality in effort, but about balance in grace. Sometimes, we compromise not because we have to, but because we choose to — for peace, for love, for the health of the relationship.
This hasn’t always been easy for me. We’ve had our share of arguments about mornings, him sleeping while I’m getting the children ready, or not helping out when I feel overwhelmed. But over time, I’ve learned to overlook certain weaknesses and not let them define the rhythm of our home.
Because here’s what I know: he sees it. He notices. Even if he doesn’t acknowledge it right away, he always comes around and I trust that.
Sometimes in marriage, love looks like doing the school run quietly. It looks like letting your partner rest without resentment. It looks like understanding that your efforts are seen, even when they’re not spoken about immediately.
So if you’re reading this and you’re in that space where you wish your husband, your wife, or your partner would just do more — pause for a moment. Keep showing up. Keep choosing peace. Stop focusing on what they aren’t doing and start appreciating what they are doing.
Because love is not always loud. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Sometimes, it looks like a week of school runs done in peace, without comparison, without complaint.
And that, truly, is love and peace.
Tobi Yusuf, the founder of RIAH Events and Weddings, a Relationship Mentor and the convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.
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