Ayoola Ayolola: I attempted suicide after learning I’ll have a child out of wedlock

Ayoola Ayolola, the Nigerian actor, has recalled how he attempted to commit suicide after finding out that he would have a child out of wedlock.

In a recent chat on the WithChude podcast, the 37-year-old actor said he battled depression because he was not prepared to be a father.

Ayolola described the period as “one of the lowest times of my life”.

He said he tried to take his life by jumping in front of a moving vehicle.

“At the time it happened, I was not prepared to be a father. I did not know what I wanted from life,” he said.

“I was still trying to find my feet and figure out how to navigate those waters. So now I’m supposed to cater to somebody? Someone’s life can be made or ruined because of me?

“My dad is a pastor and I am the first child and there was that disappointment that I felt like I have let my people down by having a child out of wedlock.

“I got very depressed and I almost took my life. It was one of the lowest times of my life and things were just upside down for me at the time.

“I felt to myself, what if I just end it right now? Nobody is going to miss me. I was actually in the middle of the road, and I deliberately miscalculated when to cross so that I would be hit.

“Maybe this is a good idea, but then the fear of ‘if you do it, you go to hell’. I don’t want to go to hell. Then something happened, maybe I picked up the pace or slowed down a little and the car just brushed me.

“I still fell off the road and some people came to help me up, not knowing I tried to commit suicide.

“And I think in my case, the resolve to never try it again was the fear of it happening. After that, my orientation about suicide and depression changed.

“I started to understand how it is more medical and spiritual than we think. Now I look at the very handsome young man, and I’m like is this what I was about to miss?

“This is whose life I was about to destroy by my actions. By the action that I was going to take blindly, this little boy would have been made fatherless.”

Ayolola is a singer and actor. In September 2012, he won the 5th edition of Project Fame West Africa.

In 2015, he suspended his music career for acting. He is popular for his roles in ‘Isoken’, ‘The Men’s Club’ and ‘Skinny Girl in Transit’.