BY TOBI YUSUF
Deliberately or otherwise, we often let go of ourselves – diets, career, fashion sense, old friends and sometimes even family members – because we are trying to build our home. We do not mind initially, but as time goes by, we realise that those little things actually mattered.
They, in one way or the other, added essence to our lives. Then we begin to miss the ‘good old days,’ tasty meals, sturdy friends and reliable family members that we may not always be able to fully get back. As a matter of fact, the thoughts of having that ‘old life’ back might seem an act of rebellion and even come across to our spouses/partners as ‘drifting away’ from them. In most cases, people do not even know the root of their unhappiness. They do not realise how much of themselves they’ve lost when their thoughts wander along that line, and the road to happiness seems so forlorn that beating a retreat seems utterly impossible.
But if you have found yourself feeling off, not knowing what is wrong or what to do because your body feels alien to you, recently, it may be time you rediscovered yourself. To do this, you must ask yourself some hard but pertinent questions: ‘Where did I lose myself?’ ‘How did I get here?’ ‘What part of me have I jettisoned because of love and family life?’ ‘In what ways am I hurting, and how have I facilitated (or am I still facilitating) this painful lifestyle?’
The good news is that things can actually look up. By asking and seeking answers to these questions, you will start to find your way back to the things that gave you joy and made you uniquely you. Although you may not recover all, all is not lost either. As a matter of fact, it is more dangerous for you and your loved ones if you refuse to rediscover who you truly are. Your family and indeed the world will be a much safer space when we get the original version of you. When you find ‘you’ and what makes you tick, you will be able to deal with animosity in a much healthier way, and you hold fewer grudges because you no longer feel left out. Trust me, your family would be better for it.
Till I come your way next time, I remain Tobi Yusuf, the founder of RIAH Events and Weddings, a Relationship Mentor, and the Convener of Love Connect – a community empowering couples and singles to build meaningful connections.
Copyright 2025 TheCable. All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from TheCable.
Follow us on twitter @Thecablestyle