A miscarriage can be a traumatic experience one that can be difficult to overcome.
The pain that comes with pregnancy loss is indescribable. So, here are six steps that most people find helpful on how to recover/cope after a miscarriage.
1. Process Your Emotions
Take time to process your emotions and learn about your grieving process.
A miscarriage is a major emotional loss and so, it is normal to mourn this loss the same way you would mourn any other loss.
Try to familiarise yourself with your grieving process so that you will understand that what you are feeling is normal.
Usually, the first stage of the emotional grief is denial. You might find yourself thinking, “This isn’t really happening; it’s a bad dream that’d go away soon.”
The second stage is feeling anger, guilt, or depression and it features common thoughts like, “This isn’t fair!” or “I did everything right, why me?”
The last stage is acceptance. You will definitely still feel sadness, but you will begin to accept the reality of the situation.
2. Be patient with yourself
Keep in mind that this emotional experience is different for everyone.
Everyone will glide through the different stages at their own pace. You might coast quickly through the denial stage, but then find yourself stuck in anger.
Do not beat yourself up. Rather, make efforts to be kind to yourself.
Take a moment each day to acknowledge your emotions; just don’t judge them and give yourself the time you need to heal and process your emotions.
Most importantly, know that your experience is your own.
You may have friends or family members who have gone through a miscarriage of their own and naturally, they will want to give you advice on how to handle it.
It’s fine if you want to listen, but it’s okay to feel like your situation is different.
It’s fine to tell them, “Thank you for your concern and advice, but I really need to handle this in my own way.” Most people would understand and be respectful of your wishes.
3. Be okay with setbacks
Healing is a process and not necessarily a destination.
As the days go by, you will make progress and feel better- time heals all wounds. However, you are also likely to experience some bumps in the road. Setbacks aren’t palatable, but you can get through them.
Maybe you experience a setback when a friend tells you that she is pregnant. After such loss, this is going to be hard for you to hear.
Remind yourself that you can still be happy for your friend while feeling sad about your own loss.
If you feel yourself sliding back into sadness for a few days, that’s perfectly fine. Be patient with yourself and know that you’ll move forward again when you’re ready to.
4. Make your own choices
You are likely to find that well-meaning friends and relatives will come offering a lot of (unsolicited) advice during this time.
First, remind yourself that they mean well. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to listen to everything they say.
For instance, your mum may suggest that it is time to give 0ut all of the baby clothes that you bought.
Eventually, this might be something that you want to consider but if you’re not ready now, don’t do it.
It is your right to say, “Thank you for your thoughts, but I’m not ready to take that step right now. Kindly respect my pace.”
5. Speak to your doctor
Some miscarriages can also be difficult to deal with physically.
It might require you to undergo a surgical evacuation procedure. It is also normal to feel the effects of a hormonal imbalance at this time.
This is why you should talk to your doctor so that you can start the process of healing your body right.
Ask your doctor if there are certain precautions you need to take.
You can ask for advice in handling any bleeding and dealing with mood swings.
Don’t hold back on asking for any support that you need. He/she could also point you to support groups if they happen to know any.
6. Keep your body healthy
You need plenty of rest to heal physically.
Plus, good physical health is directly related to your emotional health.
Ensure that you are getting the rest that you need to heal. If necessary (and possible), consider taking a brief time off from work. They’d understand.
See to it that you are eating a healthy diet; focus on whole grains, fruits and veggies, and protein.
Do not forget get part of being healthy is communicating with your partner. Your spouse will also be going through a difficult time. They too might be experiencing sadness, anger, or grief.
Take time to be there for, and talk to one another.
Be open and honest about your feelings. If you are feeling depressed, don’t be afraid or shy to admit so.
Your partner at such a time could be your best source of support, so don’t be scared to lean on them.
Find more resources on pregnancy here.
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