How to overcome jealousy in your relationship

Jealousy is a powerful feeling that can destroy a relationship. When left unchecked, it can make people do things like spying on their partner or becoming possessive.

If you find yourself struggling with jealousy, it will do you and your partner good to check those feelings and learn how to respond when they arise.

Acknowledge your insecurities

The first step to dealing with anything is acknowledging that it exists. Identify the things that are making you get jealous.

Be sure to find out if you are reacting to a new situation or if you are reacting based on previous bad experiences.

Situation assessment

Assess the situation. If there is no realistic need to be concerned, reassure yourself that your relationship is safe for the moment.

Also, remind yourself that feeling jealous does not mean that you need to act. If you do have a good reason to feel threatened, decide on a healthy way to address the situation.

Don’t be in a rush

When people get jealous, they begin to focus on how they are losing (or might lose) the other person’s attention and affection.

They begin to seek security by asking for reassurance or demanding attention. Don’t be in a rush to do this or you might end up in a worse place than you started out.

Don’t put them on the spot

You will definitely feel uncomfortable if you notice (or confirm) that your partner is spending too much time around another person. It becomes a bitter pill to swallow when you find out that they are attracted to the person.

Rather than make a fuss over it, find a way to win them back to you. After all, you have probably enjoyed spending time with someone else without it meaning that you were no longer interested in your partner.

People see jealousy as a wrong feeling, rather than feeding your jealousy or anger toward yourself, you can work on nurturing your love and sense of safety with your partner. 

If you frequently get upset with yourself for feeling flawed, then you would also benefit from working on improving your self-image, perhaps even in therapy.